Wordless Wednesday: Spring, Alzheimer’s and Me
This past year has been a terribly busy roller coaster of moving my Mom to a retirement home and trying to negotiate a whole new stage of life. It is compromising and working with a sibling whether you want to or not. Planning financially and making gut-wrenching life choice and health care decisions for my parent. It is forgetting to breathe. It is being cross-eyed exhausted from travel back and forth to a different city. It is busier than ever could have been predicted. It is me, now being the hostess of every family dinner/ holiday celebration because I moved my mother to the city where I live. (And I am no Martha Stewart hostess)
It is, oh cover your ears for this, ducking and hiding when at 8 a.m. on Sunday you find your Mom at the front door. It is teaching your kids words like Alzheimer’s and dementia and reminding them we still love the people we love even when they change. It is hearing them say: I want grandma the way she was before. It is heartbreaking, dizzying, rarely wordless, but occasionally rewarding. It is swearing often out loud because you lose your filter when you haven’t slept or eaten in days. It is calling your MPP giving them a crash course in what is wrong with the health care system. It is suddenly giving a shit about seniors issues. It is having an epic meltdown on the phone by answering machine to the carpet cleaning guy who just doesn’t get the crazy demands on your time.
And then you look up and see it is spring. And this is the scene outside my mother’s retirement home. And it is saying to yourself. Life goes on and today this tree, in full bloom, is enough. It is my one good thing.
Wordless Wednesday is a linkup hosted by numerous blogs.
12 Comments
Laurel
Beautifully written post. I lost my Grandmother to Alzheimer’s, I cannot relate to the caregiver role you play, but I can empathize with seeing the loss of your loved one’s memories and personality. *big hugs*
Paula Schuck
Laurel: reading some of your happy posts with your wee girl makes me happy.
Paula
Christine
Oh, I wish I could give you a hug! What a life altering experience…for everyone involved.Hugs 🙂
Ms POSH
I went through that with both of my parents. It is tough.
Have a great WW- POSH
Paula J
Ohhhh that is so hard! My grandmother had dementia and it was sooooo difficult. Especially when you have children to explain things to. It’s funny because before we knew my grandmother had a major issue she showed up at my door really early one morning. Best wishes for you and your family :))
Paula
lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot.com
Simply Delicious
Beautiful capture.
Leche Flan
AnnMarie Brown
beautiful… I love my wonderful grandmother to Alzheimer’s not a year ago… I am not going to sugar coat it … it is a horrible horrible thing. The only silver lining we had was my grandmother forgot our youngest child was adopted… and she kept saying to me what a surprise she was when I had her. It is so hard for children to understand… as an adult I don’t like it but I am a go with the flow person so if she thought she was 60 that day she was 60… if she thought she was 90 she was 90. My time with her was beyond precious to worry about little things like the age she kept telling me she was. I just loved sitting and holding her hand… sharing a tea and cookie with her. Those are moments I treasure as the Alzheimer’s took her life last July.
Paula Schuck
Hugs right back to you and I bet your grandma loved and treasured all those moments.
Elle Sees
Oh honey, I cannot imagine what you’re going through. My thoughts are with you.
Paula Schuck
Thank you. Good days and bad days.
Stacey @ RealWorldMom (Linky)
I can’t even imagine dealing with all the things that you are. I admire you for doing what you know is best, and, even more, for finding things to be thankful for in a very difficult situation. Hugs to you!
Paula Schuck
Stacey: thanks. I am a silver lining person. And I think that by now my shoulders are pretty strong.
I Appreciate your comments.
Paula