special needs Archives — Thrifty Mommas Tips

BEST Fidget Toys for Christmas – ZURU Toys

Paula — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 14:29:45 +0000

ZURU Toys makes this Christmas more exciting with three great gifts for kids who need to fidget. And maybe for some Work at Home parents too. Fidget toys can be useful tools for kids with unique needs and challenges. For kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and even ADD, without the hyperactivity, these can help them focus. And these fidget toys from Zuru Toys are actually so fun I can’t put them down. As soon as this shipment of ZURU Toys arrived they caught our attention. Yes, I said “Our” attention, because I also wanted to pull them out and play. ZURU Toys for the Creative Mind ZURU Toys is squarely focused on the ability for kids to be creative and to channel their energy, and these three toys do just that! They’re all great gifts for birthdays or Christmas, and they are completely unique, which I love. In case you were interested, Zuru Toys began as a grassroots company in Cambridge, New Zealand in 2004, but they’ve quickly become the fastest growing international toy company in the U.S. market. When you look at their toys and their mission, it’s not hard to see why. Their toys are focused on creativity, fun, and being totally unique. That’s why I’ve picked three of their toys as prime gift ideas this holiday season. Mayka Toy Block Tape For months I have been hearing about this Mayka Toy Block tape. I didn’t really get it at first. Now I see the appeal. This toy block tape is perfect gift or stocking stuffer for the child who loves Lego-style building block toys. With Mayka Toy Block Tape, kids can cut, shape, stick, and build anywhere. This tape instantly transforms almost any surface into a base for block construction. It features a flexible surface with a block pattern compatible with Lego and other blocks on one side and reusable adhesive backing on the other. That means virtually no end to the construction possibilities for your architect in training. I’m giving some to my niece and nephews. ZURU Toys for the Extra Energetic I love these toys because of how useful they are to help channel extra energy. My youngest daughter has a sensory processing disorder as well as attention and impulse difficulties. Fidget toys are just part of her daily process. She’s been using both of these two fidget toys. Not going to lie and tell you they are a magic bullet or anything but they can sometimes help her sit and focus longer, or calm her down a bit. What’s funny about fidgets like these is that if you leave them laying around the house eventually everyone will start playing with them. The Tangles below are super appealing to me. It’s not like I need to play to stay still. I can focus no problem, but I reach for them because they are just plain fun. Tangles Tangles work for the fidgety child, the creative child, or kids – and even adults – who are a combination of both. Tangles are colorful 90 degree curved sections that link together and that can twist and turn at each joint. They have no beginning and no end! They can be used to create movable art, puzzles, or just for fidgeting. My daughters both got one. One loves to combine fidgeting with creativity on this one to constantly change and rearrange shapes. The other just likes to have a fidget toy handy. These are colourful and to be honest when I saw them I really wanted one myself. Also they are inexpensive! The Original Fidget Cube This is gold for so many kids. Featuring six different sides with multiple buttons, dials, and switches, the Fidget Cube allows fidgeters like my daughter to quietly focus on the task at hand by getting out their excess energy by clicking, spinning, rolling, and gliding their nervous energy away. AANNDD it now comes with a collection of superhero designs like Spider-Man, Hulk, Iron Man, and Captain America, as well as DC characters Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman. This is perfect for kids like Ainsley, because she’s a big comic book fan. ZURU Toys for a Creative, Clicky Christmas I am loving these ZURU Toys, and I think the kids in your life will, too. I can’t wait to see my Lego loving nephews open their Toy Block Tape, and I already know my daughter loves her creative, fidgety toys. She has wrapped several to give as stocking stuffers for friends and cousins. If you have kids who are creative, have a lot of energy, or a bit of both, you need to give ZURU Toys a look. Great gifts or perfect stocking stuffers. I received product for consideration here. My opinion is all my own and it is also truthful. This post also contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you. If you buy directly I make a small commission.

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Getting on Track with Sharpie and Paper Mate #SpreadJoy #Giveaway

Paula — Wed, 16 Aug 2017 12:04:34 +0000

I have partnered with YMC and Sharpie/Paper Mate and have received compensation for this post. All opinions in the post are my own. Getting on track for the school year is especially important when the kids hit junior high and high school. Every year is important, but it seems like time is starting to run out when your kids hit high school. Grades, volunteering, extracurriculars – are all incredibly important for college and university admission. This year it’s crucial the kids have everything they need to stay on task. Sharpie and Paper Mate offer tools that make getting on track and staying on track easy. Getting on Track with Team Payton and Ainsley My daughters are now 13 and 16. They’ll be entering grade 8 and grade 11 respectively, and my husband and I want to make sure they have every edge possible for the coming school year. Our kids both have IEPs, individual education plans, and some unique learning challenges. Fall is a stressful whirlwind of making sure their new teachers understand their needs from the start. I will be honest sometimes I struggle with Fall. It’s not my happy place. The summer months can be busy with camps and jobs, but the Fall months, well those can be chaotic if you don’t have a plan and the right tools to stay ahead of all the back to school demands. Starting the DAY school goes back we have an incredibly hectic schedule filled with acting, martial arts, and horseback riding. Not to mention homework and then of course travel commitments and skiing! My oldest daughter, Payton struggles with organization and planning and anxiety too. She’s starting to show progress, but my husband and I want to support that progress with a simple way to keep her on track. That’s why we’re using Sharpie and Ink Joy products to colour code her agenda, as well as the family calendar. The colour code system has worked for us in the past for chore charts when the kids were small, so we have high hopes for this. My youngest daughter Ainsley struggles with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder), and she can become easily overwhelmed. Both my girls are creative and very artistic, so we’re hoping that using both the Sharpie markers and the Paper Mate InkJoy products will help them in a few ways. By allowing both to use different colours to add an artistic flair to work I hope Ainsley adds a bit more fun to learning. Homework is a chore for her. I need her to look forward to writing and putting pen to paper. Of course organizing is a big deal. This year we have also added a whiteboard and hope to add a pinboard to the girl’s bedrooms so they can jot down reminders, important dates and even inspirational quotes. Getting on Track Made Easier with Sharpie and Paper Mate There’s a reason we’re using Sharpie and Paper Mate products to help get our kids on track and keep them organized. They’ve been a staple of back to school for as long as I can remember. From the old days of their ball point pens to their vast array of products available today, Sharpie and Paper Mate have been keeping kids on track for decades. Now Paper Mate has something to help make getting on track even easier – InkJoy Gel Pens. InkJoy Gel Pens from Paper Mate spread joy, not smears, with vivid gel ink that dries 3 times faster vs the leading gel pen for reduced smearing. Reduced smearing is important for Ainsley, my left-handed girl. She smears all her work when printing. It’s not intentional, but she often smudges work and can lose points for that on projects, so these will solve that issue for good. They come in 14 different colours to choose from so my daughters’ notes will be bright and fun and easy to keep track of. They also come fully wrapped in a comfort grip for easy writing over a long period of time. SO important for my youngest whose hand fatigues easily. Writing can be frustrating for her when her hand tires, so anything that makes the grip less stiff is gold. Right before she left for camp I gave her these so she can get used to them. Also it helps Ainsley to ease into school if she has fun tools to use. These InkJoy Gel Pens are bright and cheery and new. Have to love that! [tweetthis]Enter now for a chance to win $315 ARV of tools to help get kids on track for #BTS #giveaways #spreadjoy [/tweetthis] My husband and I are also using Sharpie permanent markers to help our daughters stay on track. The original pen style permanent marker, Sharpie permanent markers in fine and ultra fine come in a variety of colours to make our daughters’ marking unique and keep it from wiping away. Sharpie Fine comes in 37 assorted colours, and Sharpie Ultra Fine comes in 25 assorted colours so there’s always a new way to personalize. I told Payton to pick a colour for each task. Red is Back to School. Light green is martial arts night and pink pastel is babysitting. Green is her youth acting troupe. Get on Track with Sharpie and Paper Mate at Walmart Getting on track is easy with Sharpie and Paper Mate, and they’re both affordable and available at Walmart. You can find Sharpie Permanent Markers and Paper Mate InkJoy Gel Pens at Walmart either online or in-store. They’re a great way to make getting on track for the school year easier and fun. Sharpie and PaperMate Back to School Giveaway

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Adaptive Ski Programs for People with Disabilities

Paula — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 06:49:15 +0000

Children with special needs face challenges that other kids don’t. Whether their disability is physical, mental or neurological, children and adults with special needs require extra support with certain activities. Many ski resorts are getting excellent at meeting this need. I have seen some adaptive ski programs at family friendly resorts like Smugglers’ Notch in action. Some are super impressive so I thought I would share a list for families like ours. Adaptive Skiing Shines at These Ski Resorts Children and adults with special needs face barriers too many places still. So when I find a resource with adaptive or inclusive programs sometimes I want to celebrate. Resorts with Adaptive Ski Programs for people with disabilities make my heart happy. Parents of children with unique abilities often feel like their kids are denied experiences that other children have. Finding places with staff that gets it can be a full time job and yet when you find that resort it is invaluable. The following ski resorts are all about family. Resorts with Adaptive Ski Programs for Special Needs Smugglers’ Notch I’ve covered Smugglers’ Notch before, so if you’ve read any of my other posts on ski resorts, you know how I feel about this one. It is absolutely amazing. One of my very favourite parts of this resort is how inclusive it is for children with special needs. The Smugglers’ Notch Adaptive Program is all about providing therapeutic recreation for children of all abilities in a nurturing, supportive environment focusing on fun with what the kids can do and not what they can’t. Because Smuggler’s Notch is both a warm and cold weather resort, the program offers activities which allow kids to socialize in a safe protected way for both warm and cold weather fun. I hope to share more about this program soon because it is truly one of the best I have ever seen. Smuggs is in Vermont and it is easy to access by plane or car. We flew there last January with Porter Airlines from Toronto. Searchmont Resort Searchmont resort in Ontario offers a great program for children with special needs. Their program specializes in helping special needs kids learn how to alpine ski in a safe, supportive, and nurturing environment. This program features a variety of equipment types and sizes to meet the needs of almost any disability. They can accommodate and include the visually challenged, hearing impaired, and physically impaired. Their adaptive program focuses on playing to each student’s strengths. Searchmont is in Searchmont, Ontario near Sault Ste. Marie. There are ski and stay packages available here. I have not yet visited this one but was interested to learn they have programs that are appealing to special needs families. Snow Valley The CADS (Canadian Association of Disabled Skiers) program at Snow Valley runs for eight Sundays beginning every January 10th. Snow Valley is in Barrie, Ontario, not too far north of Toronto. There are many accommodations available in the area if you are visiting. The eight week program of lessons is available to children with special needs of all kinds from paraplegia to autism spectrum, CP, polio, MS, Down’s syndrome, and more. All students are screened to determine their individual equipment and instructional needs and then paired with trained volunteer instructors who best match their needs. Adaptive Skiing Helps with Inclusion The adaptive programs offered by these resorts work hard to ensure that all children, youth and adults with special needs can have a good time in an environment that’s both physically and emotionally safe. Some have built extraordinary programs that you simply have to see to believe. As a parent of children who need extra supports I can’t even express how valuable these programs are to me.

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What Does FASD Look Like?

Paula — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 14:02:07 +0000

What does FASD look like? This is one of the most searched phrases that lands people here on my site. So, I figured it was time to share a few facts. Some of you know that we adopted both of our daughters when they were small. Both of my kids have unique needs. My youngest girl has sensory processing disorder and Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. My oldest has anxiety disorder. I have a lot of experience as a parent of a child on the spectrum. Over the years I have also attended numerous conferences to gather information about how to parent a child with alcohol related neurological damage. Once upon a time, years ago I would fly to BC and Alberta to access expert opinion on therapies and interventions that worked. Happily I am finally able to say that some things have trickled across the western provinces. Ontario has started the process of understanding and supporting people with FASD. BUT, they have miles and miles to go before they are doing well by this disability. The province is about 15 years behind the autism movement. I know what FASD looks like because I live with it and I also have dozens of friends parenting children with this invisible brain damage. My daughter is the greatest teacher here when it comes to showing me how and what works. So let’s clear a few things up about FASD: There is no one face of FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.) Just as there are many different ways that autism looks, the same thing can be said of FASD. People used to speak about facial features as a defining factor with FASD diagnosis. That’s not the case any more. What Are Some of the Physical Symptoms of FASD? We know now that some of the facial features we used to consider as definitive for this disorder are actually formed very early in a pregnancy. So, full facial FASD features would only be apparent if a biological mom drank during day 17 to 19. That is a very short period of time during pregnancy. The facial features used to be the absence or flattening of a philtrum (that tiny tear drop spot above your top lip), thin top lip, distance between eyes. Small head circumference, a hockey stick crease in the palm. In the mid section of the face sometimes there appears to be less definition, as if it all is kind of underdeveloped. Other Symptoms of FASD There are sometimes growth deficiencies, heart abnormalities and seizure disorders accompanying FASD. FASD impacts the brain. There can be physical effects as well. They are varied. Alcohol can impact any system of the developing fetus. I have met many children with FASD who have hearing impairments, kidney impairments, different behavioural markers. Alcohol passes through the placental barrier so when Mom drinks, baby drinks. FASD is a brain injury caused by prenatal alcohol exposure. On Behavioural Symptoms Behaviour is the thing you see first almost always with FASD. Maybe a child or youth with FASD has trouble listening or they might be overly impulsive. A child will often struggle at school for several reasons…anxiety, and learning disabilities that will often not be fully fleshed out until much older, if ever. Sleep disruptions – very common. Here we’ve needed melatonin for years. Otherwise my daughter thrashes and wakes up multiple times at night, or has issue falling asleep. Facts About Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder Largely preventable, FASD, prenatal exposure to alcohol, is also the greatest known cause of developmental disability. FASD is a public health epidemic. Prevention is incredibly important, and so is support for families dealing with this right now. Like many disorders and diseases too, FASD looks different depending on the area of the brain that is affected, the gender of the child, previous insults, ( as in did they live in a home where there was also chronic neglect and malnutrition) and environment. Many kids with FASD are adopted, as is the case here in my home. Some kids with FASD live with their biological parents. Many did not know they were doing damage to the brain of their child when drinking while pregnant. So what does FASD look like? It looks like my daughter. Sometimes it looks like her friends, both male and female. Most often it is entirely invisible until a sudden strange behaviour that persists and doesn’t fit. Sometimes it is explosive and other times it is a child who is implosive and extremely hard on themselves. Very Much an Individual Disorder FASD can coexist with a high IQ. It is a myth that everyone with FASD is extremely developmentally delayed. Sometimes they are and often they are not. It is a spectrum. Very much like autism. It has a million different faces. One of those is my daughter.

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Report Card for Superheroes #specialneeds

Paula — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 09:23:44 +0000

Congratulations. Give yourself a massive high five. A hug, a pat on the back. You made it. You are superheroes. You deserve an A plus on the only report card that matters. You did it. Another school year down. Another grade gone by. You didn’t break. You deserve A pluses in every subject. Superheroes look like this: You are all heroic. Building exceptional kids with extra human strengths. Your kids are Iron Man and Wonder Woman, Spiderman and Black Widow. They are superheroes. I know them well. Two of the biggest superheroes I know are living here in this house. They have extraordinary powers and strength. They are learning to be resilient and strong. Sometimes they are learning bad leaders exist and there are ways to cope with that. Sometimes they are learning that teachers care a lot. They are learning parents don’t give up. There are so many lessons at school that are not measured on any report card. The measure of a child is not whether they get an A plus in every subject and meet curriculum goals consistently. More important they be happy, healthy, and loved. This week the Internet and Facebook blows up with people posting how many As and A + grades were on their kid’s report cards. The measure of a parent is not how many As or A pluses their child brings home. I post my own proud parenting moments here from time to time. Maybe they look like yours and maybe they don’t. This year I celebrate one getting through social media bullying, finding her strength and growing good friends. She gets an A plus for handling anxiety with courage. This year I celebrate the months we told the school no more homework for grade six. This year I celebrate every birthday party my youngest daughter went to and even the time that child called her the R word, because she didn’t break. Instead she told the yard supervisor she was worried she was about have a problem with another student and then she told a teacher she trusted inside the school. This year we stuck together, and didn’t break. I celebrate her coming home and telling me all about it and being proud of how she handled it. This year we made our family a priority. This year we had fun. This year we travelled and sometimes we skipped doing homework. This year you showed up, you tried and didn’t quit. You went most days with a smile on your face and made friends. You left the room when it was too much. You used your words and you kept going DAY after DAY. What superhuman strengths did your child have this year?

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Building an Inclusive Classroom With Microsoft

Paula — Thu, 28 Apr 2016 10:52:19 +0000

Technology has the power to make lives better. The right technology can help us break down barriers, stay in our homes longer, or tackle health challenges head on. In schools, technology has incredible potential to help build ability, to help every child transcend barriers to education and achieve a bright future. Microsoft Canada is working to help every teacher embrace technology and build an inclusive classroom. My daughters are amazing girls with many strengths and a few challenges. They both fall squarely within the 3.2% of Canadian children aged 5 to 14 affected by a limitation related to learning. That statistic comes from the Participation and Activity Limitation Survey by Statistics Canada. We know kids like mine with special needs are at risk in the classroom. But with technology, and with the support of educators and policy makers, partnering with brands like Microsoft Canada, we can help to build an inclusive classroom that enables all students to make the grade and feel confident while learning. Falling Into The Gap With my computer and my smartphone I run a consulting business that allows me to be available to my family at home. I have Crohn’s Disease and my kids both have unique needs and challenges pertaining to learning. It is imperative that I have a flexible workplace. I get called often by the school, or by my children from school. Or I should say, I used to get called a lot. Before we had any technology or IEP’s (individual education plan) I was called a dozen times a week. Teachers and support staff didn’t know how to support my younger daughter when she acted out because she couldn’t understand a lesson, or when she failed to comprehend the unwritten nuances of socially acceptable behaviour in school culture. She was not having a good day, they’d say. Come and get her. That happened at least once a week. It was hard on all of us and my daughter’s confidence was eroding slowly. When my other daughter was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and a math learning disability, I would get calls from her having anxiety attacks in school. Nobody knew how to manage them, or how to help her. Sometimes I talked her through them by phone and reminded her to do her breathing or positive self talk. Sometimes I had to also pick her up. Both of my girls missed a lot of school. It was heartbreaking. In theory, each of my girls was in an inclusive classroom. In reality, their programs, and classes had a long way to go. There was a big gap and my kids kept falling into it. When You Know Better, You Do Better Fast forward to this year. Both my girls are gadget girls. Both often use technology in school to help them overcome challenges. We first recognized that my older daughter could use technology to help her when she was about 12. That was the year we bought her a tablet to use at school, to take pictures of homework assignments and keep a schedule of when assignments were due. That simple action, with supportive technology, helped her to get through that grade. This year in grade nine at high school she is confident, engaged and she really enjoys learning again. There are no anxiety attacks at school. She gets great grades and has as much support as is necessary to help her succeed. The difference is dramatic. My younger daughter, who just turned 12, uses speech to text software at school to help when she is unable to write or type on a computer. Now that I know all of the features available on a Microsoft Surface I have a goal of getting her one for individual use in her classroom. The built in audio app on a Microsoft Surface would work well for her. There are school resource computers she uses daily. Both of the girls use Microsoft One Note and Office products frequently. Powerpoint is in the rotation too. [tweetthis]These Microsoft tools are helping to build an inclusive classroom.[/tweetthis] I know there are still many ways we can do better for my daughter and for all the kids who learn differently at school. We have work to do to close this gap for all our children, but progress is happening. The World Health Organization’s World Report on Disability estimates the number of children under 14 living with disabilities ranges between 93 and 150 million. Whether the disabilities range from vision, hearing, mobility, dexterity, language or learning impairments – children need access to assistive technology during their learning years. In fact 87% of Canadian teachers agree that technology has the potential to empower personalized learning, according to the study Parents and Teachers on Education. The study, commissioned by Microsoft Canada, also revealed nearly 9 in 10 teachers agree that technology has the potential to cater to student special education needs. However, only 60% and 65% respectively agree that this is being used effectively right now. I agree with that because I see this gap as a parent. We can all do a better job supporting students with special needs in the classroom. Microsoft Canada is doing their part to make sure students with special needs have access to technology in education. Microsoft Canada believes in empowering teachers with free tools and specialized training to help empower the inclusive classroom. Teachers across the country, like Elizabeth MacArthur, from Nashwaasksis Memorial School in Fredericton, New Brunswick, are embracing technology in the classroom to “level the playing field” for all students. Elizabeth and her colleagues have seen significant improvement in student learning outcomes since introducing Surface tablets in the classroom. “Trying to meet all their needs at the same time is proving to be a challenge, not just for me but many teachers in the profession,” says Elizabeth MacArthur, who is a grade 3 teacher at the school. Elizabeth has watched as struggling learners discover a new sense of self-esteem and self-confidence with their Surface + OneNote solution. Children who had difficulties communicating with paper and pencil are able to record their thoughts through the built-in audio recorder. With more students actively engaged using technology, the school has also seen a reduction in behavioural problems. That is a great outcome for any school. Tablets help with a wide range of learning styles. Without the technology teachers like Elizabeth MacArthur indicate that students are being left behind. That can’t happen. We have the ability to do better and to build every child’s strengths and change their future. When we know better we can do better. Free Microsoft Workshops to Help Build an Inclusive Classroom Now, teachers and other educators who want to learn how to better use technology to build an inclusive classroom, can attend free workshops put on by Microsoft across Canada. Educators interested in learning how built in accessibility features in Windows and Windows-based applications like Office and OneNote can be used to create personalized learning are invited to attend a free Accessibility Workshop. Sessions are being hosted at locations across Canada in April and May. Visit microsoft.ca/accessibilityworkshop to find an upcoming event near you. [tweetthis]Learn how you can take part in a Microsoft workshop for educators to help build an inclusive classroom. #specialneeds[/tweetthis] This post has been sponsored by Microsoft and as such I was compensated. Education and technology and building an inclusive classroom is an issue that speaks to my heart as a parent. Stay tuned next week to see how seven educators across Canada are using assistive technology to improve the lives of students.

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When Hard Doesn’t Break – Special Needs Parents

Paula — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 06:20:50 +0000

Maybe your child has curly hair, or is slightly unique in some other tiny way. Small genetic blessings that somehow will turn to a source of pride. Over time. Maybe you think that parenting is hard, but your hard is a moment. Your hard is a glass of wine, some retail therapy, girl’s night out, and then you move on. Your hard breaks. There’s nothing heartbreakingly extraordinary that impacts the way your child moves throughout their Mondays, or Fridays – the way they approach their school day, year to year. Just a kid, potentially a great kid, maybe even an A student, going about their life sometimes trying new and fun things, succeeding, sometimes failing…moving on, growing. Just a kid. No labels, letters, or scars. Somewhere in an alternate universe not so far from you people wake up wondering if there’s anyone who will do anything kind today. They wonder if the transit bus equipped for wheelchairs will show up on time, or at all? They, we actually, wonder, not if, but who, will drop the ball this morning. There are Moms and Dads, some special needs parents, who wake up anticipating every day that someone will fail their child. I know too many of these parents. They are my friends. In real life and on line. Moms and Dads parenting kids whose needs are not met at school, whose friends are few and far between. Same children that sigh before school, or hide, or yell, knowing what to expect when they leave their safe house. Same children who go anyways, often to the schools your kids attend too. Some will get by trying to be invisible all day. A few have what they need, but many won’t. Believe it or not there are some people who wake up expecting others not to be truthful or helpful, or honest, or kind. They drag themselves out of bed and move through the motions hoping nobody gives up, snaps, leaves school for good, or tries to quit at life. Entirely. Today. Maybe you see one at the gym and you wave. Maybe you think how lucky she gets to go to the gym in the middle of her work day. Must be nice. Necessity looks like this. A Mom racing into yoga late at lunch thinking who takes care of the kids when I am gone? You can’t begin to know that when we pray, if we still do, we ask please just let them make it safely through to 18 or 19. We pray for strength to keep fighting until she is here. Then here. Maybe here. Slightly shifting goal posts all the time. We put feet on the floor picturing getting through just one day so often, that we can’t plan beyond tomorrow. One day at a time damages your eyesight so that you fail to see sucker punches coming. Kids are resilient, you say. Sometimes that’s true for colds and flu bugs. Bullies, anxious thoughts, depression, neglect, chronic under servicing, misdiagnosis and a scarcity of compassion – much harder to bounce back from. These are the things that wear us all so thin we can barely recognize ourselves in the mirror anymore. Jasmine pulls her hair out in clumps because her medication doesn’t work hard enough to help in math where fractions might as well be Greek. Sarah broke a bit when she, the only child with a disability, was also the only child cut from tryouts for basketball. The only thing she’s ever tried out for. Andrew comes home and slams his door and refuses to leave his room after school everyday. Becca eats all the time because birthparents couldn’t or didn’t feed her. Or she’s anxious? Or her stomach never registers full. Or it’s a compulsion. Jane hollers weird phrases out the window at quarter past each hour. If she does that the house won’t burn down. Broken thinking. Different thinking. Jack can’t get into a carseat without screaming because his parents used to leave him there for hours when they went out? Do you know? Do you care? Did you know we dread field trips because they disrupt everyone’s limited ability to cope? Did you know that we cry a lot quietly, sometimes hiding in the bathroom or the closet? Do you know us? Somewhere nearby there’s a different house with a different child. Maybe someone is struggling. Maybe someone is crying. Maybe they will be okay without any help or support or understanding from anyone else. Maybe. Maybe they’d really love a kind word, or a simple helpful gesture. Without a doubt, most certainly, special needs parents would love to have coffee or tea with someone who doesn’t lie. A hand squeeze, a hug. A dinner, a glass of wine, a shoulder or an ear…It’s possible that one thing could keep them going through the next crisis.

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Tips to Make Special Needs Travel Simpler

Paula — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 02:10:06 +0000

Just like life with our unique kids, special needs travel requires extra planning and some extra thought. Every family should have the chance to travel. In fact, parents of kids with special needs should get a regular break to restore. But family travel with neuro-typical kids can be challenging enough, and there’s so much more to plan for and think about when you travel with special needs on deck. So how on earth are you to figure out a way to make special needs travel work? Well, if you do your homework, the experience can be very rewarding. Make Special Needs Travel Manageable Traveling, like life with special needs children, works best when there’s planning involved. Do your homework and the trip can be a memorable and happy event for all. You’ll need to look for travel destinations, accommodations, and the like that are easily accessible to special needs kids. It’s a bit of leg work, but it’s so worth it. Believe me, we have taken several trips with our kids and the most successful adventures we have had together have been the ones where we planned ahead. Packing for Flights Packing for family travel is one of the most important aspects of your trip. Any child can get cranky or out of sorts when they don’t have their favorite snacks or items, but for some kids with sensory issues and other various unique needs, it can lead to a nuclear meltdown. Pack to prevent that. Identification: This goes without saying for all kids, but in the case of special needs travel, it’s doubly important. You need ID in case of any sort of emergency. I have in the past used a lot of Mabel’s Labels 411 wristbands for this. My daughter would even ask for them. We had one that was impulsive and a runner and another daughter who was anxious. The wristbands helped them both. Favorite Snacks: For some children with special needs, even different food can be stressful. Always bring plenty of your child’s favorite portable snacks to give them one less element of stress. And pack extras just in case. Favorite Clothes: Most special needs kids require consistency to feel safe, and nothing feels as safe as their favorite clothes. Don’t make flight day the day to try the new polyester top or the wool socks with seams. That’s a recipe for disaster. Favorite Activities: Whether it’s coloring books or their favorite app, make sure you bring along your child’s favorite activities to help distract them and give them the consistency they need. [tweetthis]Expect the best but plan for the worst is my philosophy when traveling with my kids who have some unique needs #travel #specialneeds[/tweetthis] Navigating the Airport Because our kids can be easily overwhelmed, it’s important to have a plan in place for navigating the airport. [tweetthis]Have a plan in place for navigating the airport when traveling with #specialneeds on deck #travel[/tweetthis] Get Your Ducks in a Row Before You Leave: Check in and select seats before you go to the airport and do curbside bag check (if you can) to limit the amount of time you have to spend waiting. Special Lines: Use the family lines at the airport to reduce wait time and limit your special needs child’s stress level. If these lines are too long, find a TSA officer and explain your situation. They’ll accommodate you. Potty Time BEFORE the Flight: Airplane bathrooms are small and cramped. Make sure your child hits the bathroom before you board. Shuttles: Large airports often have shuttles to limit the amount of walking you have to do. This is a useful service for parents of special needs children. Use it if it is offered. The Plane When flying with special needs kids, you’ll want to take into account the time and anything they need to feel comfortable. Stopover: If you’re taking a long trip, it might be best to book a flight with a stopover. This allows your child to get out and stretch his or her legs and get away from the cramped space of a plane. Travel to Suit Your Child: Try to book flights during the times when your child is generally most calm and relaxed. Choose the Best Airline: While most airlines are required to accommodate children and adults with special needs and/or disabilities, some do a better job than others. Look for reviews from customers to determine the airline that’s right for you. Talk to friends who have been there and determine which ones understand and help and which ones are better left alone. Talk to me – I can let you know which airlines have worked for us and which cruise lines are incredible and even which resorts worked magnificently for us – and I can tell you which ones were not accommodating at all. (too many of those still actually.) Choose the Best Seat: Every special needs child has a different need, so choose a seat in a location that best suits your child’s particular needs. For instance my one daughter needs space so she isn’t bumped. If she were in the middle seat and getting bumped all the time that could be a recipe for a meltdown. That would not be okay to manage at 30,000 feet. Although we have had to do that once. [tweetthis]Special needs travel can be extra rewarding with a few extra steps in planning for a positive experience. #travel[/tweetthis] Special Needs Travel Can Be So Rewarding Our trips with family are my favourite times of all. For instance we recently returned from Smuggler’s Notch with our kids and we were stunned at how well they accommodated and met everyone’s needs. I left feeling amazing about humanity. That sounds overstated but in our day to day life we are often forced to battle for every tiny scrap of support for our children. It’s exhausting and draining and brutally unfair sometimes. So, when I find a place that celebrates my kids, well all kids really, and works well with them, I feel like anything is possible. That is fuel for my next 3-4 months of parenting and advocating. That is another reason why we travel. It’s not an add on here. It’s my reality. Special needs families can successfully travel if we make sure we cover all of their triggers and reduce stress. Every child is different, and because of that, this is by no means a complete list. However, these tips are a good starting point for traveling with a special needs child.

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2015 Family Travel Reflections: Or That Time I Found Myself Crying as We Set Sail #travel

Paula — Mon, 04 Jan 2016 04:13:00 +0000

I am standing on the deck of a massive cruise ship tearing up when I realize 2015 might have been more challenging than I ever admitted. Sometimes this family has to stop, drop everything and hop on a cruise ship, or visit an island resort. Family travel is as crucial to us as getting the flu shot, or getting vaccinations, or filling the fridge with food. I know every parent has moments and most parents also deserve a big fat vacation occasionally. Parenting is hard work and when you have a job outside of that, it is also exhausting. Now add demands of special needs parenting to that equation. Together that formula is enough to tip the scales into depression, divorce, illness, disruption. That’s not where I want to end up. So we travel. There’s other stuff we do too in order to maintain sanity and health. We work out often and strive to eat fairly well. But family travel is the place we go when we are done with the rest of the world and simply need to be a family. Period. 2015 was a good year, but it was also way more challenging than I ever stopped to notice. I recognized that we were worn out and stressed out back in October and I knew we needed a break. When I see myself and my husband both transformed into dead exhausted, sleep walking, almost depressed, irritable, cranky, grumpy, drained and really ineffective parents then I know we need to find a way to get away. For most parents, taking a break is vital to being healthy, mentally and physically. I also know many can’t afford the luxury of travel and believe me I know we are fortunate that we can. I would sell our second vehicle and walk everywhere for months if it meant we got a week away together. Family travel time is that important to us. I also wrote about family travel as respite earlier this year. I also know the statistics. Over 80 % of special needs parents get divorced. We get sicker faster and more often. In this house I also have Crohn’s, so I need to try to maintain some healthy habits as a foundation for my health too. We lose our short term memory often due to chronic stress. We also burn out. We give up. Some quit. Studies have been done linking special needs parenting to post traumatic stress disorder. Results of those studies have equated this experience parenting to be on par with living in a war zone. That SHOULDN’T be the case in Canada where we preach tolerance, human rights, and support and equality. But we are not statistics. We are a family on a cruise ship. One of the happiest places on earth. We are setting sail – it’s the embarkation party. Why am I crying? This is my Christmas present to all of us. Holding a novel in my hand watching the horizon retreat. Scoping out which lounge chair I will choose. One of my daughters is holding my other hand. Another has found her people already. Same girl who worried she wouldn’t meet any kids on this trip. We have been on the boat for about 2 hours and she’s taking names and text numbers. My worrier races away from the lounge chairs to start dancing happily, with the cruise director and a bunch of strangers. As if she didn’t have a care in the world. This is the child who spent the past 11 months limping. Same girl we spent the better part of the year carting back and forth to the hospital and specialists, fighting for a CAT scan for what everyone thought was juvenile arthritis. To my right, I spy my younger daughter jump in a hot tub, beaming at me from the deck. My busy, sporty, active 11-year-old who hit puberty with a vengeance this year as she entered grade 6. The girl we are always fighting for services over. She is happy and calm and thriving right here, right now. (I often wish I could raise and educate that one on an island.) Sometimes I think every special needs parent who survives September, June and December should simply be able to take a cruise or hop on a plane for a week at a resort. Special needs parenting is rewarding and wonderful and all those cliches, but it is also the most draining experience advocating for services into a void all year long. I summed it up here last year in a post about special needs adoption. I also talked about some of the agonizing over choosing a high school for my older daughter too. Here we are, I think. I wonder how long I have been holding my breath. And I bite my cheek hard to keep the tears from spilling all over. Emotional leakage. Adoption disruption happens all the time. People don’t keep stats on that. We will not be that family. Our family is forever. But I know exactly how it happens. Special needs kids and special needs parents can be excellent at developing coping mechanisms. Mine is working until I am ready to drop, so that I cannot waste time stressing out over the latest service failure, or the awful inadequacies of systems that are supposed to help parents raising kids with special needs. My last work quarter was insanity and this year some of the clients I worked with ended up realizing goals we have been working on together for 3 years now. That was exceptionally gratifying. I have escaped into that work. I can escape a million times a day in my strategy and my writing. I love what I do for a living and I love my family. I work hard to keep both strong and successful. This year I worked hard. We all did. This year we also travelled a fair bit. I did some travel blogging and occasionally we ended up on a trip together, but those are working trips with social media promotions, posts, tweets flowing out of them. This is our trip. Our time together enjoying each other without homework battles, doctor’s appointments, show week, lessons, IEP meetings, arguments with anyone. At one point on this trip my daughter asked is this a work trip, like for free? My husband blurted: No, this is a trip that was paid for by the fact your Mom has worked 24/7 for the last six months. Fair enough. So why am I crying? I’m crying because we are here. Because my kids haven’t been carefree in months. I’m crying because we are lucky, and fortunate to be parents. Because sometimes I still miss my Mom. Because the year went fast and I am excruciatingly tired. Because a trillion small things need to be done the week before family travel. Because I built a business that is this successful that we can travel together when I think we really need to. Maybe I’m crying because juvenile arthritis didn’t win this round and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder won’t either.

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Appliance Shopping Adventures

Paula — Sun, 22 Nov 2015 16:45:00 +0000

ADVENTURES in appliance shopping: We are price matching our butts off over here appliance shopping. We need a new dishwasher and a new refrigerator. We really need a new laundry set too, but we are prioritizing the refrigerator and dishwasher for now because old dishwasher will die any day and currently makes weird noises sometimes. Also our fridge is old and small and doesn’t close right. So we are appliance shopping and we have been doing that on and off, for months. I think we’ve both had just about enough actually. Flipp App helps for some of that and then there’s good old fashioned leg work. Over the last few months, and particularly this past week, we have learned a few things again about buying big household purchases and I wanted to share some with you on the off chance any appliance brands, or retailers, might read this post. Lesson 1: It’s annoying when some stores don’t update their on line stock often enough. Busy people do not have time to price match and comparison shop and then go in ready to buy and find out “Nope, we don’t have any.” Lesson 2: Also if I was going to buy something big off of you – maybe even two or three big appliances and you didn’t ever return my follow up call regarding a question about whether you service appliances or not then honestly I’m not returning to buy. I had this happen this week. I really wanted to buy something and yet nobody could answer my questions. WAH. Wah. Fail. Lesson 3: It is surprising when you go into a store that you have a preset notion or opinion about and they totally demolish that. I had excellent service from a staff member at Home Depot this week. She painstakingly searched out the best prices and took a long time matching fridge prices up for me, then printed the item numbers out. ALSO she informed me that they match and then discount also by a further 10 %. So they really are cheapest in town… that said I still haven’t made the purchase because we both discuss big ticket items and we try to agree on style and size and cost. Sometimes that is the hardest part. Lesson 4: One further point regarding Home Depot…while I was there I noticed two teenagers I know with special needs who came in to work there as I was shopping. It might have been high school co-op, and it might have been pathways to community living or whatever, BUT I witnessed how well they were treated and supported by staff members and that gave me warm fuzzies….They were both greeted by name, asked nicely how they were. One was a bit late to work, but 2 staffers both calmly advised the teen it was okay…Calm and supportive all the way….Might seem small to some people, but I can tell you where I would rather buy stuff now after visiting several spots in town partly because that left me feeling really positive about the store as a brand and community partner. That’s not something I would see in a TV or print ad. It’s not marketing. It’s more a brand philosophy or mission statement. What is your brand or store mission statement? Don’t have one? Hmmm…sometimes we can tell. Lesson 5: I already know this as a consumer, and as a person who makes many of the buying decisions here. If you treat me with less respect than you treat my husband when we enter your store to buy a product, I WILL NOT BUY from you and I will remember that feeling also. I will also tell my friends. That’s how we shop. I remember buying my van and I remember how we were “handled.” Lesson 6: Appliance shopping isn’t fun. I don’t get a big kick out of spending thousands on a new refrigerator. I’d rather spend the money on a flight to Costa Rica. I hope to have to buy new appliances maybe once every ten years. It is costly and time consuming and it is a big purchase. So a note to you retailers selling appliances, help to make the experience a positive one. Lesson 7: You never know who is watching and what they are going to see. Goals and values and heart matter. Many others might have seen the two teens with invisible special needs and not really have noticed at all. But – and this is also a note for consumers – please remember inclusion as a society is a goal many of us are working hard at building and promoting. It does us all good to help support people with differences. It makes everyone stronger. (Recently I saw a clerk at Wendy’s with obvious-to-me special needs being completely misread by a customer and it made me heartsick. I overheard the female customer say as we were eating – “I am calling their head office to complain about that kid..He was so slow. He didn’t even understand what I was asking for”..Her complaint was something to the effect of. “I told him I got the salad with pine nuts and he gave me the one with almonds. Then he just stared at me.” Newsflash he was slow because he is operating at a different speed and needed understanding, not someone berating him and talking about how lazy or different he is. Also how many people see the problem with how she phrased her statement? She did not give a simple or clear instruction…of course he stared you didn’t tell him what you needed him to do.) This is what I saw and heard while in store with my child who has invisible special needs. I only hope that the people at Wendy’s support that young man and ignore the rude customer. Not faulting Wendy’s at all here. I applaud them for helping this young person to work in the community. Customer is not always right. Lesson 8: If you don’t have social channels yet you are limiting your success. I don’t even understand this anymore. Your consumers are all on line all the time. Why are you choosing to sit that out? (Shakes head.) I search for you on Facebook, Twitter and sometimes Instagram before, and sometimes, as I am in store. It’s all part of the process of selling and doing business. I will offer kudos sometimes on twitter, when I get good service, but not if I can’t find you. I do not currently work with any appliance brands. This is just how my week has been. I felt like sharing. So listen here’s my big takeaway…the consumer experience is sometimes also emotional and I buy things with my heart sometimes too. Also FYI if you are a brand needing help getting on social media or maintaining social channels…if you don’t understand how or why we use social media then drop me an email at- inkscrblr@rogers.com I run a business Thrifty Mom Media developing social media strategy for brands, both big and small. My Linked In profile can tell you more. https://ca.linkedin.com/in/inkscrblr

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