excerpts from a conversation about the tooth fairy

The tooth fairy made a visit at our house this week, as those of you who follow thriftymommastips, will know. Anyways naturally as my children are five and eight now there were a few questions that came out of the process, some more comical than others. Now any moms and dads with any experience fielding life’s great philosophical questions can picture the setting…mommy driving down the busy road (or highway), sunlight in her eyes making dangerous turn when duh duh duh duh…darling child  unleashes a good one from the back seat.
This is the conversation I had with my five-year-old Ainsley the other morning as I drove Payton to day camp.

“Mom is the tooth fairy real?”
Uh think fast, oh yeah select standard response quickly while driving minivan, “Well, what do you think?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you think she’s real then she’s real.”
“Have you ever seen her?”
“No,” an easy one whew, thinks Mommy.
“How come you’ve never seen her?”
“Because she comes when people are fast asleep.”
“What happens if you don’t go to sleep?”
“She doesn’t visit.” another easy one, she thinks knowing full well there are going to be repercussions for two easy ones in a row.
“How does she know where to look for the teeth?”
“I think she watches you.”
“Like God and Grandma?” Ever since Grandma S. passed away two years ago Payton has convinced her younger sister she watches them from a TV set in the sky.
“Sure, kind of like that.”
“Where does she live?”
“I don’t know. Where do you think she lives?”
“In a castle.” Of course.
“Why does she need teeth?”
Oh Lordy they’re getting better. Think, Mommy, think. “Ummm. I don’t know. I have no idea really.”
“What does she do with the teeth?” asks Ainsley.
“I don’t know. Do you think she keeps them?”
“Yes, I do. I think her whole castle is made of teeth.”
“Hmmm,” says Mom, hoping this line of questioning is almost over.
“Why do you think she needs so many teeth?”
“Maybe she builds furniture out of them and stuff too,” Mommy says. At this point a sporty car usually angrily honks horn and passes Mommy-van in no passing zone.
“How does she know to look under the pillows?”
Oh let it stop the Mommy thinks to herself. “because every child leaves them there.”
Skeptical look boring hole through Mommy’s back. Almost home. Almost home, Mommy thinks to herself.
“Mom?”
“Yes?” Mommy answers hesitatingly.
What about Santa?”