children's anxiety Archives — Thrifty Mommas Tips

Raising Anxious Kids in Anxious Times

Paula — Mon, 26 Jun 2017 13:10:10 +0000

If parenting was a ride at the amusement park it would be the biggest of all Behemoth coasters. One that catapults you from bed, hurls you out the door and plummets you 7 stories down before your eyes are even open. Daily. But it would also throw in some 3 D effects, just enough to rip your heart out, before it stops and you wobble away, stomach trailing five stories behind. And it would yell SAVAGE and probably blare Musical.ly videos at you too. Looking Back In my daughter’s room I have a framed picture of her on her first birthday. Her hair is KOOKY, so Kooky it makes me laugh still, and she’s propped up and happy, sitting on a Blue’s Clues rug near her crib. I printed that photo out and put it on a matte frame and wrote I Wish For You Beautiful Life on it and had all of her guests, Aunts and Uncles, Grandma, cousins and friends all sign it. This little keepsake moment in time sits on the dresser in their bedroom. Yesterday this same girl, now 13, and I were driving in the van back from a doctor’s appointment when I spied an ad for a concert in our town. The Names, the featured acts, are amazing and the event itself sounds incredible. My daughter named one as we drove by – “Allessia Cara.” “Lady Antebellum,” I said. “I LOVE THEM.” BIRTHDAYS On her tenth birthday I led her around the house on a scavenger hunt for clues. Her gift eventually was a trip with her sister and myself to Ottawa to see the Katie Perry concert and spend 4 days traveling through Ottawa and Montreal. I don’t remember traveling with anxious kids on that trip. We had an incredible time and took the train and the girls both still talk about that concert and how fun it was. Just us three. A girl’s trip. Acts change, Fads and bands come and go and children age. They slip in and out of crushes on celebrities, music and even social media channels. They hear things, remember some, and others fall away barely even acknowledged. But sometimes the things that stick you don’t see coming at all. “Wait, that’s here in this city,” she said. “Yes, in July,” I told her. I wondered out loud if the concert was remotely appropriate for teens, particularly a 13-year-old girl. She’s thinking what I am thinking, at least I think she is….and she asks me: “Would kids be able to go to that?” “I don’t actually know. I have never been to that one. It would depend partly on the prices and the timing of the acts. I’d have to check, but I can find out,” I say. Kids go to concerts and shows all the time. When they are young, we take them to Dora Live or Disney on Ice and we get to relive our own childlike wonderment watching them witness characters and skaters come to life. It is magic. And then one morning they are simply too grownup and too busy with friends, or other things, to want to do something so youthful any more. So, you come up with scavenger hunts and trips by train to Montreal, or Toronto. Fun diversions to keep them engaged. And you scaffold them. Giving them progressively more independence over time at appropriate stages. In small increments, staying nearby if needed. Can I go to the movie with a friend? Sure. Can I go to the Mall with Alice? Sure as long as you have your phone. And can I go to a concert? Maybe. Let’s check a few things out first. Thinking that we are going to maybe research going to this concert I plan it out. Check Prices. Ask friends on Facebook if they’ve been, and if it is appropriate, or if people are drunk and rowdy. Make a decision. “Part of me thinks it would be cool. But the other part of me never wants to go to a concert again,” suddenly I recognize this thing. Anxiety. Anxious kids. “Wow.” WHAT? I think to myself. Puzzled. “Ever since the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, I am scared to think about going to a concert.” Swear words and sadness in my head. We talked about that horrible tragic violent act when it happened and then the girls ran out the door to karate or riding, or acting rehearsals. Didn’t even consider that it was still weighing on one. When my kids were little we kept the news off when they were in the room. There are many parents who talk news all the time with their kids but mine are anxious kids. They have been anxious kids for years. This one, my youngest really is the least anxious of my kids. But here it is. ANXIETY. There’s no avoiding the news when you are on Youtube and Snapchat and Instagram and Facebook all your waking hours. Nor do I want them to avoid news and world events. But the world is horrifying right now. It is terrifying for an adult, much less a 13-year-old. So, we talk about the news. Violence and terrorism and horrible senseless things that happen sometimes. “I just think that could happen here.” Yes. She’s right it could. It seems unlikely and yet so did all of the horrifying things that have happened most recently in Britain..Manchester, London…some new horrific violence every single day. Unlikely, doesn’t really hold much weight anymore. That would never happen here and couldn’t happen here also don’t mean what they used to. So what do you say? What do I say? We keep talking for a bit. My daughters are both growing up in a pretty frightening world. I wish for you a beautiful life. And yet so probably too did every single Mom and dad of every child killed at the Ariana Grande concert. Anxious Kids Need Time, Patience and More Would love to tell you we resolved her anxiety in a quick 20 minute conversation, but we didn’t. Anxious kids don’t work that way and neither does anxiety. Just remembered today when a friend noted she is heading to a concert in Toronto tonight that I need to revisit this and help my children both through it. These are anxious times, maybe even more so for anxious kids. But we keep talking. Sometimes it helps to point out the helpers and the good things that happen even in a tragedy. The benefit concert to help and the outpouring from so many celebrities. Mostly I just keep listening and talking and showing her, showing both of them, we don’t live our lives fearing everything. We can’t. And sometimes I remind her I knew someone close to me who was anxious and fearful all her life. Fear kept her from embracing love, or travel, or fun new things and that breaks my heart even still. You can’t live your life like that. Anxious Kids Can Become Anxious or Depressed Adults. Nobody wants that for their children. Dear Anxious Kids: You Can’t Live Life in Fear. Do all the fun things (as long as they are legal and don’t hurt anyone.) Don’t hide. Be brave. Love and let yourself be loved. Go places. Explore. Embrace life, experiences and love. Take some risks. And always trust your instincts. Most of all Live a Beautiful Life. And remember to call your mother.

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The Colour Changing Vividay Oil Diffuser – A Fun Way to Use Essential Oils

Paula — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 17:39:42 +0000

About six months ago my neighbour introduced us to the idea of essential oils. I had, until that point, really resisted the concept. Essential oils can be expensive. So can the gadgets you need to dispense them. So I held off awhile but the girls kept visiting the neighbour’s house and singing the praises of essential oils. So we bought a trial package of DoTerra Oils and gave them a shot. Then we bought a diffuser. And then because one child had one we got another diffuser to be even steven. Last week the Vividay Oil Diffuser arrived and I knew the girls wanted to try it out so we began using this fun variation. Anyways, back to the start of the story. My kids were keen to try essential oils and I had heard some good things about them so my neighbour leant me a catalogue and I browsed. We started using the tiny introductory package of oils and the lavender disappeared fast. Lavender has calming effect and both of the girls like to fall asleep with the sound of the oil diffuser running (masking a bit of white noise) and the light scent of lavender in their rooms. For my anxious child I think it is calming. And for my younger daughter, I think it is also calming, but now it’s more a routine for her and routines are important in her day. I began using peppermint for myself – for digestion. I also used some of the lemon, which can be taken internally according to directions. By the way for a time I was using the lemon on a wart on one of my fingers and it seemed to be working really well. The oils seem to have quite a range of applications and I have seen them work. We have added and tried a few others in the mean time. There’s an essential oil for pretty much every ailment. Just be warned to read the suggested uses before overdoing it. When my kids were little we had one of those cute spinning lamps that projected decorative animals on the ceiling in various colours. That went on every night and they loved falling asleep to the hypnotic sight of animals in rainbow colours on the sky of their rooms. This Vividay Colour Changing Oil Diffuser is a bit like that lamp. The colour changing element is fun and can also be left on as a night light of sorts. The colours change dramatically to pretty much every shade of the rainbow. They are very vibrant shades of purple and red and pink and orange and blue, yellow, and green. There are seven colours in total. My new Vividay diffuser changes colours. Little things like that make us happy. #essentialoils #love #family #fun #homes #health #ldnont A video posted by Paula Schuck (@inkscrblr) on Feb 22, 2016 at 12:07pm PST The Vividay Diffuser is a Bit Unique Vividay Oil Diffuser uses ultrasonic technology to atomize the water (500 ml capacity) and essential oil to release a fresh aroma. It is easy to fill and it works well to dispense the scent over a certain period of time. The Vividay Oil Diffuser comes with a measuring cup to fill the reservoir, but it’s not crucial that you use it. It works just as well filling it at the sink. Please note the essential oils must be water soluble or the unit will malfunction. Mist settings come in high and low and of course off. The time settings run for 1, 2 and 3 hours. You choose. I always set ours for the maximum length of time. I have seen some diffusers that run 4 to 6 hours. One of the other ones we have here in our house runs for 4 hours maximum. The colour changing option here can be turned on or off and the Vividay Diffuser comes with a six month guarantee. So, if your child can’t sleep with the colours changing all the time, then you can set it to be one of the specific colours only, or you can set it to white, or you can turn the light part of the diffuser off entirely. There are several options here. There are 2 models to choose from, 7 Color Changing or Warm White. Vividay is on Twitter here at @VividayOfficial. You can buy these on line at: VividayUs.com/ and they are also on Facebook and Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.com/vividay1849/ As noted I received one of these units for consideration here on my blog. I chose to feature it here because I know many of my readers are using essential oils. This post contains one affiliate link.

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Perplexing Childhood Anxiety Symptoms – Part 2 of a Series

Paula — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 03:45:16 +0000

For years we struggled trying to figure out why my daughter worried so much. And why she had so many stomach aches and headaches too. Then, when it became such a big factor that it interfered with her getting to school, we had to take action. Childhood anxiety is a challenge but it can be manageable with support and sometimes medications too. Here’s part 2 in my childhood anxiety series – on Childhood Anxiety Symptoms. A Bit About Our Daughter We have a daughter with Generalized anxiety disorder. I started talking about her anxiety disorder several years ago when I wrote a piece for Today’s Parent. You can read that here in Today’s Parent anxiety piece. When Payton was about 7 or 8 she was first officially diagnosed, but oddball things had been happening since she was 6. In fact the onset of full time school can bring on anxiety for many children. Now Payton is 13. She copes well sometimes and is learning new strategies over time. What works for us well is that my daughter is extremely verbal, in two languages, so she’s able to tell us what’s happening with words often. The thing I have always loved about that is that it makes my job a bit easier. If she lets me know something is wrong and provides me with some of the symptoms or feelings, then I can help or plug in the help she needs. Earlier this month I posted part 1: Five Things I Know About Childhood Anxiety This is part 2 of my childhood anxiety series. Becoming a Childhood Anxiety Detective: Sometimes when you are parenting and an illness comes up you have to be a bit of a detective to figure out what is happening. I remember feeling that way from the start with my babies. They would drop tiny clues about their ailments and illnesses even before they could talk. Most parents get good at reading the clues. A fever. lethargy and sore throat plus tugging on the ear often equalled ear infection. A fever and no lethargy, for my one daughter was almost always just a simple bug that would easily go away. Runny nose equalled a cold and so on. Nausea almost always is an easy one because kids tend to vomit whenever and wherever that hits. Anxiety is a bit harder to decode. At least it was for me. Maybe, if some of you read this, and learn about our experience this might help. At least I hope it does. How did I know my daughter had anxiety? The answer is I didn’t for a really long time. I had no idea what to label what she was feeling because the symptoms were physical. I ended up taking her to the doctor repeatedly for stomach aches and constipation and headaches and over and over she’d miss school due to some physical complaint. We were in the emergency room with her stomach aches a few times when she was six and seven. She’d get extremely constipated. Childhood anxiety symptoms are perplexing because they don’t often make sense. Now I know that stomach upsets and constipation can be a symptom of anxiety in children. Back then doctors ran X-rays and we came up always sort of empty handed. There didn’t seem to be a reason for the stomach pain. They questioned her about bullying and whether that could be the issue. For several months, maybe even years, we assumed stomach aches and then head aches were bullying related. At some point most kids run into and experience bullies. Our daughter had experienced bullies too. But even when she was put on a laxative to fix some of the stomach pain, and even as we dealt with the bullies, she was still not getting better. So what were we missing and what were we seeing? It wasn’t until several years in with her anxiety that we realized after reading and therapy and assessments mounted up, that anxiety comes with pronounced physical symptoms. Essentially worry can make you sick. Ten Childhood Anxiety Symptoms: 1. racing heart 2. stomach ache 3. head ache 4. breathing faster 5. sweating 6. nausea 7. sleep issues (can look like inability to sleep and can also look like too much sleep. My daughter is super exhausted at end of school and she falls asleep extremely early every night.) 8. joint pain 9. difficulty concentrating. 10. shaking, dizziness. [tweetthis]DYK that anxiety is one of the most common children’s mental health disorders?[/tweetthis] https://www.thriftymommastips.com/five-things-know-childhood-anxiety-part-1-new-series-health/ Does your Child Have These Symptoms Way Too Often? Does your child have childhood anxiety symptoms? I certainly am no doctor or therapist. But if they have many of these, or any of these, and they interfere with daily living then tell your family doctor. Children’s mental health issues are challenging but teaching them coping strategies equals more tools to deal with anxiety as adults. Here’s a book that we found helped. This post contains an affiliate link as a service to my readers.

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