Okay so this is me saying I’m quitting surveys for at least one month because damn if I haven’t had it. I’ve been surveyed to death lately and even on the train home from Toronto tonight (with me registering a full six on a scale of one to five with five being dead exhausted and six being near comatose and one being super crazy about surveys) the Via Rail lackey shoved a survey in my face before turning to person across from me and sticking his ass a wee bit too close for comfort. And frankly I am a polite person – for the most part, so you know I’m going to waste my time filling that ridiculous thing out. I am Canadian after all. Because on a scale of one to five with five being very accommodating and one being not at all I am a solid four and a half. But my opinion and my time are important. Sure they are. True or False. Circle True. And I’m beginning to wonder why there are so many infernal surveys of late. Here’s what I’ve come up with: surveys are the new form of telemarketing. Yup. Once they got that national don’t call registry cold callers had to work smarter and so I give you the survey. So that’s it. That’s all. I am done. Surveys from Ipsos Reid arrive like daily in email form and there are lovely phone surveys that appear far too often and then there are all of the great organizations I hold close to my heart who of course would like to hear my opinion in survey form. Oh and Rogers I would like to personally thank you for surveying me every time I call your damn office about a power outage or other issue, which let’s face it is a lot. Car companies too. I don’t need a survey every time you service my car. Do you survey your wife after you’ve had, you know, sexual relations? On a scale of one to five was that spontaneous enough for you? Was it: A. Fire engine smoking. B. Better than watching CSI reruns? or C. Just you humouring me? or D. Totally not worth putting my book down? So that’s it I say. No more. I am really and truly on a scale of one to five with five being absolutely not going to fill one out registering five on this one. And then the month after that you know what – I’m going to fill every survey out screwy as if I am channelling the Bloggess and then you’ll stop won’t you crazy survey freaks. Mwahaha! Take that!