These Five Things I Hope For You The Night Before School Starts #SpecialNeeds
It is not the most wonderful time of the year. It’s the night before school starts and frankly that means many of you, my friends, the people I know who parent kids with unique needs, will not be sleeping well. I know you. I see you tweeting and posting and worrying quietly behind closed doors whether this will be the year your child will be understood. Has the IEP been read? Will your child even be able to get into the school physically? Will he cling, or cry, or wave happily. I know you are worrying yourself sick the night before school starts. It’s what we do.
I know you. You and I are the same in a lot of ways. I am sitting here doing the same thing. I know your child has been spinning the last couple of weeks sensing the transition that’s about to come. It isn’t pretty. The last two weeks before school starts are the hardest because kids with special needs are often more sensitive to facial expressions and the frustration you yourself start to feel as the days inch closer to back to school time. I know.
I see you starting to worry already before the first day is even here and part of me hates that school is this worrisome for special needs parents.
So here’s what I want to tell special needs parents the night before school starts.
These are my five wishes for all special needs parents the night before school resumes:
- I hope your son or daughter makes a friend this year. A true friend who loves making bracelets, or playing Pokemon, or eating Lunchables together. A friend who stays. Just one. A friend who gets all the differences and sometimes celebrates them with your child and hugs her and calls her BFF. Because. EVERYONE NEEDS that one BFF.
- I hope the teacher has read the IEP (individual education plan) and I hope, against all my prior knowledge of how this works, that they follow it. I hope they ask what can I do to make this child feel part of this classroom? How can we do better? How can I be the one teacher he or she remembers? How will I reach him or her and what can I learn from him that might even make me a better teacher? I hope.
- I wish for your baby that one birthday party invitation. BECAUSE. I KNOW. IT hurts you as much as it hurts your child when they are left out, and they are often left out. The birthday party invitation. It’s the one thing regular parents don’t even give a second thought to. Maybe they are even a nuisance sometimes. But there’s a kid at that school, maybe your kid, maybe another one, that never ever gets the birthday party invitations. That’s real. That sucks. Let this be the year your child gets a real birthday party invitation.
- I wish for you a few moments of peace today when your child goes back to school. I hope you breathe, have a coffee, take a nap, go to work, or do yoga. Just please promise me you won’t simply sit there crying your eyes out because you know this year none of the above will happen. Have faith. Take a minute to celebrate the success of simply getting him or her there. For some of you, I know that is a Herculean effort. Transportation issues can be a nightmare. Separation and anxiety and so many other hurdles. I know. Breathe. If they got to school at all promise me you will celebrate just a bit because some days success is just getting there.
- I wish for you a year in which someone believes in your child as much as you do. I hope their eyes light up a bit when they see them, that they smile a genuine heartfelt smile that tells your child they matter. They are special and worth being around. I hope that person also values you as a partner in the process and never ever says the word – lazy. I hope they genuinely love their job and they leave your child just a little bit better and brighter, happier and more confident. I hope they build her up, instead of always tearing down. I hope you have a better year than the last one. Mostly I hope you remember you are not alone.
23 Comments
Robin (Masshole Mommy)
Both of my boys went off to school last week. Each of them had a great start to the year.
Sarah Bailey
Good luck to all children starting school this year – it can be such a daunting time. x
Liz Mays
This is so sweet. Those parents definitely deserve some time to relax. They should know that others know how hard they work!
Paula
I agree Liz! They deserve a break. The kids deserve someone who gets them and cares.
coolchillmom
Here is to your wishes for your kids coming true. So much anticipation for the school year!
Paula
Thanks for your kind words.
Toughcookiemommy.com
We are also getting ready for the first day of school tomorrow in New York City. I hope our boys have a wonderful day too.
Paula
I hope they do too. So nice to meet you this summer!!
Amber NElson
Good luck to all the kiddos. I know that it can be a challenge for any parent!
Dawn
I certainly hope all of these things happen as well. I love how you touched on the topic of special needs and going back to school.
Annie M
All great wishes for a special needs child. I rarely got invited to birthday parties cuz I was “odd” in that I was quiet/shy. So silly…
Pam
I worked with special needs students for almost 25 years in a very large school district in the US. I understand what you are talking about here. This is a great list of of wishes and I wish the same for all the special needs students out there. Here is to a good school year for all.
Paula
Pam – I work with a group of parents here who have adopted and done foster care. Their kids come to them often with various special needs. Often the needs are unexpected and then when they have issues it really comes out of left field. But they always do their best and yet these little things all weigh so heavily.
Mykidsguide
I love your wishes. My daughter had a classmate who happens to be a special child when she was in grade school. Their teacher made sure she was never left out.
Paula
Thanks Olfa! That’s wonderful to hear!
Annemarie LeBlanc
How touching! I hope and pray that all these wishes come true. I admire the parents of special needs children. They are the epitome of strength!
Maureen@ADebtFreeStressFreeLife
The birthday party wish struck me particularly hard. I hate to see kids left out. Children can be mean, but parents need to be more mindful and inclusive and teach their children these values.
Jeanine
Yes. What great wishes. I hope all special needs kiddos get to have an enjoyable year back!
Debbie S.
This is absolutely beautiful! I too have a son with special needs and chronic illness. Your words are the sweetest.
Paula
Debbie: Thanks so much for saying that. I wish him the very best all year!!
HopscotchNjb
Good luck to all the kids. i love your Wishes and i hope that all these wishes come true. I have an nephew that haves an special needs.
Ann B
My friends Daughter is in Kindergarten this year. She is Autistic and non verbal. I hope the classroom is prepared for her. We found last year in Jr Kindergarten they treated her like they were babysitting her instead of trying to teach her.
Jennifer Williams
It is so hard for all the kids going back to school and adjusting to new things/people. I am so grateful we have the ability to homeschool our son so he gets the one on one learning and the get togethers with friends.