This is another entry in the ongoing teen/tween mama diaries. Life is never dull with teens and cell phones. Raising digital kids is a special kind of universe. I heart my beautiful kids. But they also drive me around the bend regularly and sometimes on purpose, I think. I strive to not be mental from it, and yet there are days when I look in the mirror and think who is that frizzy-haired, wild eyed maniac mom looking back at me. Then I realize it’s me and start thinking up ways that I can get back at them when they are dating or getting married. My husband already has started this process. I kind of heart that. The other day for instance daughter was face timing a boy who face times her all the time (Not a metaphor for anything else. They are both iPad obsessed, Youtube loving little oddballs.) and husband starts talking way too loudly almost yelling. He is not, for the record, a loud talker. He is generally a calm character.
Her: “Daaaddd, shshhshshshshsh…I am on the iPad.”
Husband: “Turn it off. It’s almost dinner.”
Her: (rolling eyes I can almost hear in the office.)
Husband: “Now. Turn it off. It’s almost dinner and the table needs to be set.”
Me: “Hey dude we don’t do that. Parents don’t yell when their kids are on their cell phones and iPads Unless they want them not to have friends EVER.”
Husband: “Who is she talking to?”
Me: “Jack, her friend. He’s a BOy-y-yY!!!”
(Same friend she literally just left at school like one hour ago. That part makes me a bit batty.)
Husband: (at this point I think I see a glimmer of something mischievous in his eye): “Get off the phone. Get off the iPad. Stop face timing. It’s dinner.”
Me: (shoots evil eye) “Did you not hear me? She’s talking to a boy. You are going to scare her friends.”
Husband: “Excellent. That’s the plan. That means he won’t come knocking on the door any time soon.”
Me: OMG the teenage years should be fun.