Adoption Myths and Facts – NACAC conference

Those kids are all someone else’s problem. There are no babies available in Canada. You might be better off to adopt internationally.

We have all heard adoption myths and facts and they are in fact often completely false. If you think you know what’s up after watching a tv show about adoption or a series featuring an adoption plot line, think again and do your own research. 

The Myths and Facts From NACAC

This post is about adoption myths and facts. It kicks off a weeklong series of posts about adoption inspired by the NACAC conference I just returned from in Columbus, Ohio.

I speak about adoption regularly to parents, prospective adopters and to the media. On the weekend I spoke at the NACAC (North American Council for Adoptable Children ) conference with fellow journalist Laura Eggertson.

I, along with my husband, am an adoptive parent of two beautiful kids, adopted domestically through the Canadian foster care system. As cofounder of an adoption organization called the Canadian Coalition of Adoptive Families, I meet many dozens of prospective adoptive parents every year. All this I tell you by way of indicating that I know of what I speak. We have years or experience as adoption advocates.

The Ontario Adoption Stats

In Ontario, there are right now 25,000 children in care. Of that 25,000, some will get adopted, some will grow up in loving foster homes and some in group homes. Sadly, too many will “age out” turning 18 released into the world without any legal connection, or emotional support.

It is the saddest possible way to graduate from a system no child chooses to enter. But that’s a post for another day. Adoption is both a beautiful and a sad thing and whether you choose international or domestic adoption it should be an informed choice made with facts, not misconceptions.

The Adoption Myths and Facts 

Domestic VS International

Myth: Domestic adoption takes years. It’s quicker to adopt overseas.
Fact: I adopted both of my daughters domestically. My oldest child, adopted as an infant, took two years in total. The home study process and training took about one year and then we waited another year to be matched. The second time we waited nine months. Nine days! A friend of ours was matched nine days after their approval. Unless your criteria are very narrow: as in I want a healthy Caucasian girl without any risk factors, the wait is often not as long as people believe.

No Infants

Myth: There are no babies available.
Fact: My husband and I adopted babies myself twice in London, Ontario. There are infants, toddlers, teenagers and sibling groups all in need of homes.

Age

Myth: They wouldn’t approve us to adopt in Canada because we are too old.
Fact: Many adoptive couples are older. Often times empty nesters choose to adopt and start family all over again.

They are all Troubled

Myth: Adopted children all have severe emotional and behavioural problems.
Fact: Many adopted children are well adjusted, happy and healthy.

Single Parents are Not Welcome

Myth: Single people can’t adopt.
Fact: Single people are valuable resources. I know many single parents who are now families as a result of adoption.

Gay or Same Sex Couples are Not Welcome

Myth: Gay couples can’t adopt.
Fact: An extremely outdated myth! Gay couples often adopt.

On TV Moms Always Change Their Minds

Myth: With domestic adoption a birthmom can change her mind at any time and claim her child.
Fact: Adoption is a legally binding process. Once it’s been decided in a court of law and finalized, birth parents cannot simply reappear and take the child back.

 

The Myths and Facts

The Adoption Facts are Not at all what you might expect if you consume popular media. Do your own research and call the local CAS for details. Get in one of the adoption readiness classes for parents and learn the facts and myths firsthand. Someday you might be sitting back as a newly formed family ever grateful you didn’t just give up.