Adoption and Family,  adoption and tweens,  family,  parenting

This Reality Show Called Adoption Life

“I’m thinking about adopting.”

At least once a week I read a message like this from someone wanting information about adoption. I am open. I talk and write about adoption here often. Friends know I will always answer. And I do. I find them resources, or answer their questions about why, or how long, or where do I go? Sometimes I simply let them know that the wait is worth it.


I answer the questions one by one and hope others will follow through and discover all that I love about adoption. There are many roads to parenthood. BOTTOM LINE. There will always be children in need of stable and loving homes. It is a sad reality and yet that’s also how I became a parent and therefore it is also beautiful. I mostly have learned to take the highs with the lows and the happy with the sad. If you can’t do that then I’m just going to put it right out there – you might not be the best candidate for a role in ADOPTION LIFE.

In fact, let’s explore that theme for a minute..


If you love September, March, June, birthdays and December still, well give all that up and you can star in Adoption LIFE. Just trust me on this. There are still a lot of glorious and magical months in which to parent beatific cherub children. Just not these particular months. These will be trigger and transition months. Expect outbursts and mood swings..M’Kay..moving on.

On the other hand if you love learning and enjoy always being kept on your toes well you are a shoe in for a role on ADOPTION LIFE.

If you like answering hard questions while driving down the highway, well that’s parenthood essentially. But there’s one slight difference on Adoption Life. The questions will be extremely deep and painful. You will need a thick skin and a non judgmental voice. Perhaps you are good at tennis or volleyball. Fast reflexes are good.

“I know my birth Mom couldn’t raise me. But why didn’t someone help her?”

“Would you have given me away too if you were her?”

“Why did my birth dad also agree to adoption?”

YOU MUST BE BRAVE for this show. PERIOD.

Don’t pass go without your suit of armour.

You must find a hobby and take care of you or you will be replaced when your character collapses in Season 3 or Season 4.

There are days when this show Adoption Life is the farthest thing from my mind. Sometimes the plot of the show is almost boring. Wake up, get ready for school, go to school and work and then return home. Dinner together and then extracurriculars and we are racing out the door to do all those other things. Martial arts. Swimming. Skiing, Horseback riding, acting and singing and then make your lunch for the next day. Shower, rinse and repeat. It’s wonderfully sane at times until …(cue sound of screeching brakes) it’s not.

IF you can stay calm during chaos and lots of emotional outbursts, then you are the ideal candidate for ADOPTION LIFE.

You know those TV shows and movies on TV featuring an adoption theme. Aren’t they beautiful? You watch to that amazing Happy Adoption Scene moment and feel fuzzy and warm and cry. I know you do. So here’s the thing…ADOPTION LIFE is what happens when the Happy Fuzzy Adoption Day ends.


In the real life version of my reality show called Adoption Life, I feel confident saying yes there are many days you’d want to switch the channel. Some days it is life like any other family. Mundane, sweet, happy and sometimes brighter than all the planets smooshed together. Other days you are sworn at, or kicked, lied to, or generally beat down by a tiny, or even hormonal tyrant living in the same home.

It is an EMMY Award-winning show. Of that I have no doubt. It’s the best show in town and it runs on all the channels 24/7. It is heartbreaking, fulfilling and rich, and also often painful. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Some of this is clearly tongue in cheek.

However, I hope you know that if you want to star in this show, you need to start preparing for the audition immediately. Gather all the resources you are able now. Make friends who are adoptive parents, or about to become adoptive parents. Read, source, ask questions, don’t give up, learn and take care. I am still betting on you.

Mom of two beautiful active girls, traveller, fitness junkie, social media consultant, and keeper of the sanity.


  • Elizaveta Hesketh

    I am always impressed about families that adopt. I would like to possibly adopt some day as well. I am not sure exactly when, and my family is not completely ready, maybe some day. Bravo to you, for all that you do!

  • Nancy L.

    You are truly a special person, Paula. 🙂 Most parents I know who have adopted a child end up adopting more than just one. I have one friend who adopted a child from a young, Amish girl who was unmarried. The child has since graduated from high school (top of her class) and is studying to be a doctor. I’ve always felt that God had intended for the baby to become a doctor, but she never would have growing up Amish. I believe God gives you the child you are supposed to have (adopted or not).

  • Chubskulit Rose

    Just the other day, I was in my deep thoughts and imagined that ur cciden have a gown p and haethirwn lives. I thought ofadopting a child so hubby and I can have another one at home.

  • Erica

    Adoption is something near and dear to my heart. My mom opted to raise me on her own while still pregnant. Shortly before I turned 3 months old, however, she met the man I call Dad 37 years later. Right before I started school his adoption of me was finalized – he wanted to be sure that happened before I had to learn to write my name and he was so proud for me to be writing his last name! I’m blessed to have my Dad!!

  • Rebecca Swenor

    The show Adoption Life is a great resource for those thinking about adoption. Adoption is a beautiful thing for so many children. It is so important for anyone who is thinking of adopting to research and know that it will not always be peaches & cream but that it will pay off in the end. Thanks for sharing the show and Kudos for spread awareness.

  • Risa

    It takes some very strong people to adopt children. Most children that need to go through adoption, if they aren’t adopted as a newborn, have already been through so much in their lives. It’s an amazing role and kudos to all who take it on!

  • Nile

    Sounds like a great show. Honestly, I’d love to see one on foster care. One of my friends has been running a foster home, and they are one of those who did it for the good of their hearts. I’ve even met some of them, as they are treated like family, no matter the race.

    Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

  • Emily

    It’s so easy to imagine how SO many emotions get involved with adoption, before, during and after! It is definitely a huge emotional undertaking.

  • Gabriel

    Some friends of our just adopted. They were looking for just one, but ended up with two, half-sisters who’s mom just wanted a better life for her kids. It’s pretty amazing to see them grow into a family.

  • Jay Simms

    I have never heard of this show, but it looks like it would be amazing. I am glad that there is a place kids can look to to find out these questions and the whys of what happened.

  • Lee-Ann S

    Beautifully written. The Adoption Show is always changing that’s for sure. In our little corner it usually revolves around a missing key family member. Unlike your girls though mine likes to ask her questions during the walk to school so I’m always worried thinking she’s going to keep wanting to discuss during school. Luckily she’s in a small class with 15 of the same kids she started school with so Adoption is a term they’re familiar with.