“I’m thinking about adopting.”
At least once a week I read a message like this from someone wanting information about adoption. I am open. I talk and write about adoption here often. Friends know I will always answer. And I do. I find them resources, or answer their questions about why, or how long, or where do I go? Sometimes I simply let them know that the wait is worth it.
I answer the questions one by one and hope others will follow through and discover all that I love about adoption. There are many roads to parenthood. BOTTOM LINE. There will always be children in need of stable and loving homes. It is a sad reality and yet that’s also how I became a parent and therefore it is also beautiful. I mostly have learned to take the highs with the lows and the happy with the sad. If you can’t do that then I’m just going to put it right out there – you might not be the best candidate for a role in ADOPTION LIFE.
In fact, let’s explore that theme for a minute..
If you love September, March, June, birthdays and December still, well give all that up and you can star in Adoption LIFE. Just trust me on this. There are still a lot of glorious and magical months in which to parent beatific cherub children. Just not these particular months. These will be trigger and transition months. Expect outbursts and mood swings..M’Kay..moving on.
On the other hand if you love learning and enjoy always being kept on your toes well you are a shoe in for a role on ADOPTION LIFE.
If you like answering hard questions while driving down the highway, well that’s parenthood essentially. But there’s one slight difference on Adoption Life. The questions will be extremely deep and painful. You will need a thick skin and a non judgmental voice. Perhaps you are good at tennis or volleyball. Fast reflexes are good.
“I know my birth Mom couldn’t raise me. But why didn’t someone help her?”
“Would you have given me away too if you were her?”
“Why did my birth dad also agree to adoption?”
YOU MUST BE BRAVE for this show. PERIOD.
Don’t pass go without your suit of armour.
You must find a hobby and take care of you or you will be replaced when your character collapses in Season 3 or Season 4.
There are days when this show Adoption Life is the farthest thing from my mind. Sometimes the plot of the show is almost boring. Wake up, get ready for school, go to school and work and then return home. Dinner together and then extracurriculars and we are racing out the door to do all those other things. Martial arts. Swimming. Skiing, Horseback riding, acting and singing and then make your lunch for the next day. Shower, rinse and repeat. It’s wonderfully sane at times until …(cue sound of screeching brakes) it’s not.
IF you can stay calm during chaos and lots of emotional outbursts, then you are the ideal candidate for ADOPTION LIFE.
You know those TV shows and movies on TV featuring an adoption theme. Aren’t they beautiful? You watch to that amazing Happy Adoption Scene moment and feel fuzzy and warm and cry. I know you do. So here’s the thing…ADOPTION LIFE is what happens when the Happy Fuzzy Adoption Day ends.
In the real life version of my reality show called Adoption Life, I feel confident saying yes there are many days you’d want to switch the channel. Some days it is life like any other family. Mundane, sweet, happy and sometimes brighter than all the planets smooshed together. Other days you are sworn at, or kicked, lied to, or generally beat down by a tiny, or even hormonal tyrant living in the same home.
It is an EMMY Award-winning show. Of that I have no doubt. It’s the best show in town and it runs on all the channels 24/7. It is heartbreaking, fulfilling and rich, and also often painful. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Some of this is clearly tongue in cheek.
However, I hope you know that if you want to star in this show, you need to start preparing for the audition immediately. Gather all the resources you are able now. Make friends who are adoptive parents, or about to become adoptive parents. Read, source, ask questions, don’t give up, learn and take care. I am still betting on you.