adoption and tweens
Adoptive parenting is a challenge. Adoption and tweens is new territory entirely. Parenting tweens who are growing more independent every day is also full of ups and downs. But parenting tweens and teens who are conflicted by the dualities of wanting to grow up and gain independence like an average tween or teen, and needing to feel safe still due to early life insults makes life even more interesting. Many children who come to their forever families by adoption get there due to an apprehension by Children's Aid, neglect or abandonment. All of which are serious emotional and developmental challenges. Adoption and tweens is new territory both for the adoptive parents and the children as well. Many adoptees can be emotionally much younger than their chronological age indicates. So what issues have we faced when navigating tweenhood alongside adoption grief and loss and growth?
Adoption and Tweens:
Let's share our stories and work through the challenges of parenting kids who often need a bit more at a time when they should developmentally be pulling away.-
Teach Your Child How to Be a Friend
This morning I have already connected with 3 of the parents I know who have kids with special needs. I am beyond grateful for their support. My kids are both having a rough week. Some part of that is life as a teenage girl. Another part of that is special needs. And yet a final piece of that is other people’s kids. Can’t control how other people parent, even though I wish I could. But I can reach out to my support network. And I can write. Sometimes that’s my therapy. Girl friendships are hard. I get it. I was a girl. In fact I am a person who survived…
-
This Reality Show Called Adoption Life
“I’m thinking about adopting.” At least once a week I read a message like this from someone wanting information about adoption. I am open. I talk and write about adoption here often. Friends know I will always answer. And I do. I find them resources, or answer their questions about why, or how long, or where do I go? Sometimes I simply let them know that the wait is worth it. I answer the questions one by one and hope others will follow through and discover all that I love about adoption. There are many roads to parenthood. BOTTOM LINE. There will always be children in need of stable and loving…
-
Adoption, Awareness and Advocacy – Why Are We Still Here? #adoption
This past week someone googled ” I hate adoption awareness month” and they arrived here on this blog which had me shaking my head at google. So I wanted to set the record straight. Here’s the truth. I don’t hate National Adoption Awareness Month. Quite the opposite actually. But I have gone on record many times over saying awareness is not enough. And I stand by that. I am an adoptive parent. Our family was built via adoption and it is a wonderful means of forming a family. I celebrate that all year round. I celebrate adoption awareness activities and fundraisers that raise the profile of adoption as a means of…
-
YOU NEED this – Caregiver Kick Start #specialneeds
There is nothing quite like attending a conference or a workshop and leaving feeling energized, validated and understood. You know that feeling, right? It’s like a giant sigh of relief and a reminder that this unique parenting is doable. But, then you leave that space and you return to your home. Maybe you maintain that zen approach for 3 days, or a week at most and something happens and you slide right back into that overwhelmed, exhausted state you were in before. How can you get back to that space where you are in control of your feelings and reactions? I have the answer: Caregiver Kick Start! A couple of…
-
Adoption and End of School Year – Buckle Up, It’s Going to Be a Bumpy Ride #adoption
OH MAN! I have been sitting on this one for a bit so it’s likely to all come out in a big incoherent mess. But here it is. Life as an adoptee, or an adoptive parent at the end of the school year can be a mess of conflicting emotions. I get it. I do. It is hard and sloppy and somehow this is usually where I find my zen because when the kids come completely unhinged I shove aside most things and retreat to inner calm with purpose because they require it. I am not quite there yet this year, but I will eventually get there. Here’s what’s happening.…
-
What Does Ten-Years-Old Look Like?
This past month my youngest girl turned 11 and we celebrated with a Minecraft cake and a sleepover and a family dinner at Lone Star Texas Grill. We all learned to ski together as a family in Tremblant the weekend before her birthday party. In many ways, that was the perfect start to sporty spice’s birthday week. This is the daughter I still joke never met a sport she didn’t like. The one who wandered off at Disney when she was four and nearly gave me a heart attack on the spot. The one who sported my eye shadow the day we went to visit a local martial arts studio…
-
Why I Protect My Family With Vaccines #ONVaccine
Maybe it’s because it took almost forever to become a parent that I feel so strongly about holding my kids close and protecting them from illness, accidents and harm. Maybe it’s because I have a compromised immune system myself. I have Crohn’s Disease, an autoimmune disorder. I know I can’t afford to get ill. When I get sick, I have a much higher likelihood of ending up hospitalized than your average Mom does. Maybe it’s because our babies, both adopted as infants, needed more health care, more nurturing, support, and security, because circumstances of their birth were not what I would have wished and their fragile immune systems struggled…
-
Ainsley’s Tween Girl Birthday Word Search
It’s my daughter’s eleventh birthday. My youngest daughter. My mini ninja. The girl we used to dub a two foot tornado. Now a four foot tornado. No idea how she can possibly be eleven! Then again, I can’t believe I have a teenager either. Ainsley keeps us on our toes, but in a good way mostly. From the moment she arrived in our home she was almost always on the go. I remember her first ever attempt at rolling as a baby. She rolled clear across the living room floor to grab her sister’s Barbie. That’s just her way. At four she started martial arts. On a day when she’d…
-
Perplexing Childhood Anxiety Symptoms – Part 2 of a Series
For years we struggled trying to figure out why my daughter worried so much. And why she had so many stomach aches and headaches too. Then, when it became such a big factor that it interfered with her getting to school, we had to take action. Childhood anxiety is a challenge but it can be manageable with support and sometimes medications too. Here’s part 2 in my childhood anxiety series – on Childhood Anxiety Symptoms. A Bit About Our Daughter We have a daughter with Generalized anxiety disorder. I started talking about her anxiety disorder several years ago when I wrote a piece for Today’s Parent. You can read…
-
Why I am Speaking Martian Again: FASD Looks Like This and I am Still Proud to be a Health and Special Needs Blogger
It’s been an interesting week here, in which several signs have made me realize again what I am supposed to be writing about. It’s funny how sometimes you, as a blogger, get tunnel vision watching stats and striving for growth and page views and SEO. These are the tools of the trade and we all get really great at understanding them. We watch our posts for engagement and comments and we tick them off and file them away with headings like: improved or needs improvement, or blogging goals for the year. We worry on a day when the stats dive and we question sometimes what happened there. We wallow. We question…