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We Don’t Get That – Friendships and FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder)
“You know how everyone else has a best friend when they are small and they kind of grow up with them? Well, it’s like we don’t get that.” – my daughter, 15, who has FASD. Recently we found a peer support group for my younger daughter. This has been a long time coming. In fact, I’ve basically been looking since she was old enough to have been diagnosed with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) at 4 or 5. For years, we had nothing. No support. No local FASD parenting group. I mean, I had a loose group of online advocates and we connected on Facebook and Facebook Messenger occasionally when…
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Courage and Parenting a Child with FASD
I wrote this in May when we had a not so great month here at school and home due to FASD and explosive behaviour. Sometimes I day dream about where I could go if I just left. Maybe for the day, maybe longer. Sometimes I contemplate never returning. Yesterday was one of those days. I love my kids, my family, my husband. But some days the scale tips. This past May was a month of this. When the Scale Tips – How it Feels Parenting a Child with FASD. Do you ever have those days where the scale tips? Where how much I hate living with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum…
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Is Every Step of the Way the Hardest Stage?
Is every step of the way the hardest stage when parenting? Lately, I ask myself a lot of questions related to parenting teenagers. Like how is this stage even harder than when they were infants? How am I losing more sleep than ever over my kids? Why did I think parenting would be a good idea? How is it possible this is the hardest stage yet? Are you a parent of teenagers? Do you know what I mean? Do you ever ask yourself why did I have kids? Be honest. Of course we love our kids, who are now teenagers. I am not calling that in to question. Many of…
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How Do I Answer Hard Adoption Questions?
This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase via one of the links I receive a small commission. Mom, did I grow in your tummy? Why didn’t my parents want me? What was wrong with me? How come nobody gave them money or helped them? These are all hard adoption questions I have been asked over the years as an adoptive parent. And I have answered them all, sometimes precisely and sometimes in very young vocabulary for a five year old or even younger. Talking to your child about adoption doesn’t have to be scary. The scariest part of adopting is going through the actual adoption – so…
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How My Word of The Year Became a Matter of Life or Death
“I wish Dad was younger,” my daughter said driving home from a play rehearsal the other night. “If you think about it he could be 70 when I am in my 20s.” Math is not usually our conversation on the drive home. Neither is life or death. But here we are. Often I have to wonder how their minds work. “I wish you were younger too. I mean if you think about it you could both be dead before I’m 40.” Oh my god my head hurts some days keeping up with this kid. But I get it. It’s a fear of dying and every child has that to a…
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Teach Your Child How to Be a Friend
This morning I have already connected with 3 of the parents I know who have kids with special needs. I am beyond grateful for their support. My kids are both having a rough week. Some part of that is life as a teenage girl. Another part of that is special needs. And yet a final piece of that is other people’s kids. Can’t control how other people parent, even though I wish I could. But I can reach out to my support network. And I can write. Sometimes that’s my therapy. Girl friendships are hard. I get it. I was a girl. In fact I am a person who survived…
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Stupid Tears and Being a Special Needs Parent
I’ve become a spectacle. The crazy Mom sitting in the grocery store parking lot crying stupid tears in a minivan. You don’t want to know her. She’s pathetic and cliche. But too many times lately she’s me crying in the parking lot at Sobey’s, No Frills or Food Basics. Look away. Perhaps you are new here and you don’t know me, but I am not a cryer. In fact crying is something I typically do once or twice a year maybe. Like a thing I allow myself very rarely in controlled situations at home. Nobody needs to see me crying in the parking lot at the grocery store. Or anywhere…
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“It Still Hurts” – Foster Care and Adoption Triggers – Teens
A smart person once told me at an adoption conference that adoption is not an event. Adoption is for life. So what does that mean exactly? In fact, adoption continues to be a piece of who you are as a family, as a person, long after happy court is done. Through elementary school and high school, children and teenagers also have adoption triggers. It is extremely easy to forget that adoption is not an event. From September to June the days mostly fall into a predictable rhythm. Wake up, get ready for school, leave for school. Hang out with friends and learn and have fun and then come back home to family and…
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On The Road to Planning A Family #ChurchandDwight
You have reached that point where you are ready to start Planning A Family. You feel ready to start a new life together as a family and you are hoping to conceive quickly. OR you are hoping to adopt quickly. But there are a million questions still, and pregnancy isn’t always as easy as it seems on TV. So what do you need to know? My readers here know that I am an adoptive parent, blogger and social media consultant. I community manage a few infertility patient groups. I know more about fertility, infertility and adoption than I do about pregnancy, but I have partnered with Church and Dwight this year,…
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Eight Most Useful Gifts for New Parents
Useful gifts for new parents can be invaluable. It’s not always the thought that counts alone. Gift giving for new parents needs to be a combination of heartfelt and useful. Brand new Moms and Dads are about to be their busiest ever. BUT, do we give them things that make their lives easier during the transition or do we spring for something whimsical and cute? Useful Gifts for New Parents Make Life Easier I loved my baby shower and it was magical from start to finish. The gifts that arrived were also treasured. At the end of the day though, I had about a billion onesies, dresses and blankets, but I…
