family

For Grandma – on #MothersDay

Yesterday my daughter asked me if we could keep the messages on the phone from Grandma so we can hear her voice. And I cried. Not knowing it would be the last time we might hear her, I erased them all last week. On Sunday my mother, their last living Grandmother, passed away unexpectedly. 
I will miss a million things about her this weekend. My first Mother’s Day without my Mom. Today we buried my Mom, listened to tributes from her sister-in-law and brothers. And my brother and I both found strength to say a few words about a great lady too. But I wanted to share the words of my girls. On a night last week when I was unbearably sad, and my children were still shell shocked that Grandma wasn’t coming back from the hospital, I asked them to dictate a few words to me and this is what they told everyone today at Grandma’s funeral. Both unbelievably got through their speeches without crying. 
For Grandma from her Grandkids
Payton, 11.
I don’t think of Grandma as just a member of our family. I think of her as a friend, a great friend.
I saw the pictures of the day she first met me and I can see how happy she was. I can tell I was pretty happy too.
I was six when I slept over at Grandma’s and she took me shopping and to the butterfly conservatory. Now, when I look at butterflies they remind me of her. I imagine everyone in my family is attached to me by a little ribbon of some sort. I imagine Grandma’s is blue with sparkles around the edges with little dolphins on it.
When I was having trouble at school I would reach to the end of the ribbon and she was always there. Now there’s nothing there but ribbon. I try to imagine her at the end of that ribbon, but it doesn’t really work sometimes.
We used to always go to the cottage together. One time we tried a campfire and that didn’t really work. I don’t think Uncle Norm could get the matches lit. Grandma bought me a lot of ice cream at the cottage and read me a lot of books. She loved to hear me sing her songs.
Sometimes I slept in her room at the cottage. I enjoyed that. Grandma talked in her sleep, but I didn’t really mind. I just liked sleeping with her anyways. She came to see me in all my plays, even when I was just a baby rabbit and not the main character like I wanted.
I miss her visits and her cuddles. I miss seeing her at the retirement home. I even miss the stories she used to tell me to shock me from the news – like the one about the girl eaten alive by orcas. I think that was supposed to be a cautionary tale. Sometimes it freaked me out. Once in awhile I would do something to shock her or make her laugh. I held a big snake on my head in Jamaica and then later I showed her the picture and she was kind of horrified. I loved doing that sometimes.
She was good to laugh with and read with and cuddle with and I am very glad she met Gerry too. 
  
Ainsley: 9, (This is dedicated to a very special person, my Grandma)
My grandma was the best grandma in the whole wide world. There’s a feeling inside me that we should be happy because she lived a good life. She is right by our side helping us out. I think she was happy and all we can do is pray and be happy she is where she is. I know someone from the retirement home also who is really sad too. I think we are lucky to know him and Grandma brought Gerry into our lives. He is a good friend.
There was a light inside of me that lit up whenever I saw Grandma, like a big ball of joy. She was my grandma and whenever I saw her she lit up the whole earth.
I loved visiting her at the retirement home. We went trick or treating there this year. It was our first stop. She always made me laugh.
She came to my black belt grading with Gerry. She was very proud of all her grandchildren.
When I went to the hospital I wanted her to be somewhere else, not there. I loved everything about her – head to toe.
I love to do puzzles and I feel like families are a bit like a puzzle when they are all together. They all fit together. Now it feels like a piece is missing. That makes me sad.

I love my Grandma and I will treasure her forever and ever and never let her go.

Mom of two beautiful active girls, traveller, fitness junkie, social media consultant, and keeper of the sanity.

11 Comments

  • Kristen @ My 3 Little Kittens

    Your girls truly have a gift of words and thankfully, they are able to express themselves so beautifully. I erased the messages from my Dad only a few days before he passed and it broke my heart….His phone was in service for about a month after his death and I called it everyday, just to listen to his voicemail…just to hear his voice. Paula, you are an amazing Mom, which is shown in your girls, just as your Mom was to you. Don’t ever forget that you have an angel that is always with by your side …….

    • Paula Schuck

      I believe that I have a couple of angels giving us strength now. It is still very sad for me though. Thanks for your kind comments. My girls blew me away with what they said. I knew they lived her but their special memories are each so unique. I hope they carry them forward forever.

  • Sny Med

    Paula, I’m so sorry about your mom’s passing. I know there is never a good time, but right before Mother’s Day is just unfair. Your daughters, although 9 and 11 wrote beautiful eulogies for their grandma. I spied a lot of wisdom in their words. Thinking of you and your family at this terribly difficult time.

    Jenna

  • Fariha M.

    What a beautiful, heartfelt and honest post. You are blessed that your children had the opportunity to know your mom. My mom passed away shortly after my wedding and my children never knew her. I share stories and pictures with them as often as I can, to help keep her memory alive.