|Shutterstock photo by Leah-Anne Thompson
It’s been a while since I’ve used this space for a good rant. So it’s time.
Now listen here. I am thinking about starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund my great new idea. I think it will be something epic. But right now it’s just a little vague. To be quite honest, it’s really just a concept. But it’s a great concept. See, it’s a concept I have for a brush that will automatically clean itself. Cool right? Because, who couldn’t use one of those? I mean have you seen my daughter’s hair? I think it will be hot. So hot. Yessssss!! Virtual high fives all around.
I think everyone should write about it. Because you know, Kickstarter. Duh. I think I might have some high resolution images here to share. Maybe. And I would really love it if you could all offer me some big ads in your magazines. Today’s Parent would be willing to do that, right? For me. The newspapers will give me full page ads and whatnot, right? Because I am a small small business person and I need the help. It’s, like philanthropic.
Oh and you bloggers, well here’s the great thing you can all get in on this at the ground level. (I know, unbelievable, right? Right? I can hardly believe I am offering this to you. You lucky bastard.) I am drafting a press release, even though I know the press release is dead and all that, because I think the rules don’t apply to me. Here goes….Tell me what you think at the end.
Dear blogger, on line publisher, or influencer, mommy or daddy blogger:
This is your lucky day because I am willing to offer you an on line exclusive interview with me the founder of this self cleaning hairbrush being launched on Kickstarter. But wait, it gets even better. You can have it for free if you back the campaign too and send me at least $10 to get this baby to market. And I would love it if you would Tweet and Post and Like and Share and even Instagram all of this, because it’s going to be the hottest new product ever. It’s just that my bank won’t actually give me a loan to fund it right now. But whatevs. Because, you know, Kickstarter.
So anyways here’s what I think you should do. Join my campaign. I will let you write about it for free. Deal! I know, right? Of course I think you will see the benefit of investing in this great new necessity anyways. It would really help me if you would promote the heck out of this campaign to raise funds for self cleaning hairbrush idea. I have different levels of rewards for my supporters.
Dear Kickstarter people: stop emailing me. Kickstart that. The end. XO Paula.
Kickstarter is a crowd funding investment platform people seem obsessed with lately. It has, in my opinion, jumped the shark. I don’t really mind the idea of Kickstarter. Or, I didn’t mind it at the beginning anyways. But now it just seems every Jo Schmo has a Kickstarter product and campaign. Books, Food. Go on – browse through the offers. It’s mind boggling. I might have let this whole thing go if I didn’t get two Kickstarter campaign offers from very large brands this past week. Huge beverage brand X would like to use Kickstarter to bring back a flavour they used to make and apparently I should want to write about this and also promote it for free. What on earth is a giant brand doing using Kickstarter? I am speechless. Well, almost speechless but I am sure I can find something to fix that. Because, you know, Kickstarter.
This all reminds me of last year when people kept asking me to write for toothpaste. You can read Why Bloggers Don’t Write for Toothpaste
If you are a blogger, are you receiving these ridiculous Kickstarter pitches?