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Navigating Adoption and the Tween Years
Just 11 short years ago, my oldest daughter could be picked up and carried around. Sigh. Now she’s a tween. Let me just say the tween years are clearly preparation for the teen years ahead. But adoption and the tween years, well that’s just a special planet in the parenting journey. And me with Payton last summer at a Dove event. My kids are all sorts of awesome. Except when they are not. Sound familiar? I’m not complaining, because I love them, all the time, even when they are not particularly loving. Anyways I slept very poorly last night which is unusual because I am always exhausted when I finally…
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This is Who She Will Be #tweens
I am always proud of my kids. Every day from the second they joined our home, their tiny hearts beating in sync with mine. I love them beyond measure, like many Moms the world over, and yet, sometimes parenting is dull. It is magical – ephemeral – a little unbelievable – and then it is exhausting. Draining. Bone weary hard work. The older they get, the further and faster they speed away from you. Daily. You can see it when they wake up and walk down to make their own cereal. And it is good and welcome and even a positive force most days and then, comes a day when…
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Are They Real Sisters? – National Adoption Day Bloghop
These are my girls, Ainsley and Payton. Sisters. Daughters. Great friends. They love and fight and play and hug and eat and drink and dance and dream and share part of our lives, our home and hearts. They are the reason we wake up and breathe and do – pretty much everything. There was a time when we didn’t know if we could be parents. There was a time I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a parent, if I am being 100 % truthful. I wanted a career – writing was my passion – and many days even my husband probably fell into the second place spot.…
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Adoption and Camp: Realities of #adoption
My daughter left for sleepover camp tonight. I raced back from Blogher in New York City to drive her down a gravel laneway ever closer to her grownup self. It is a little thing for some, developmental grains of sand slipping through a timer. But, I have learned, as a speaker, an adoption advocate and most of all an adoptive parent, there are very few little things when you are adopted. Everything is amplified. Everything is different. How does adoption at camp differ than any other camp experience? In a lot of ways actually. From separating from parents and understanding they return to being able to cope socially and regulate…
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Five Easy and Free Sensory Play Activities for Kids
With an increasing number of kids who have sensory processing disorder or sensory issues related to brain injury, concussion or autism, there’s a lot of new knowledge about sensory play and sensory activities. We started reading up on sensory play and sensory processing disorder years ago when Ainsley was first diagnosed. Depending on whether your child is sensory seeking or sensory avoiding any one, or all of these may appeal to them. FIVE EASY SENSORY PLAY ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS Fill a sink with warm water and soap suds. Have them wash things. Toys, dolls, dishes. My youngest daughter, shown here, could do this for almost…
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National Adoption Awareness Month – Our Story Part Three
This is the picture of the day we met our daughter over ten years ago now. People often ask me how the process was and when they hear we adopted domestically they are astonished. I often say: Have you seen our beautiful girls? I could never complain about either one of our adoptions. We got two gorgeous daughters, we got to be parents and we found a great community of friends in the process over the last decade and we have found a passion advocating for other families. Part 3: This is part three of my series in honour of adoption awareness month. I have also been running several adoption…
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Advocacy – WIN THEN BUILD Philosophy
This is something I share when I do workshops throughout North America on advocacy. But because I know so many friends with children who can use this information I thought I would post a tipsheet on the topic. I call it the WIN then Build philosophy of advocacy. I run a non profit (Canadian Coalition of Adoptive Families http://www.canadiancoalitionofadoptivefamilies.ca/) in which I often use these tactics and I am a Mom and I have a child with special needs. This is what works my experience. Of course there’s more than one way to make things happen but this worked well for our group back in 2007. 1. W is for…
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The End of School Blues: Triggers for Grief in Adoption
Let’s take a minute to talk about triggers. We all have them, triggers that sometimes seize us by the heart and drag us back to a memory – good, bad or otherwise. Triggers can be like strange little portals to the past. Sometimes brought on by a smell, a time of year, a feeling, a picture. Triggers for Grief in Adoption are many and they sometimes arrive out of the blue for parents. But for kids in care and adoptees they can be hard to cope with and even harder to communicate clearly to adults. They are visceral and emotional. The Triggers for Grief in Adoption For adoptees, or children…
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Building Adoptive Family Traditions at Christmas #adoption
People are forever writing and asking about traditions this time of year. I didn’t always feel as strongly as I do now about creating family memories and traditions. In fact there was a time I would have scoffed out loud at that kind of talk. My traditions in my family of origin were sometimes fun and sometimes, as a child, they seemed painstaking. Many were aimed at pleasing adults and a lot were centred around eating and sitting around the Christmas tree. When I got married I made a choice to create my own type of marriage, my own style of doing things. That same philosophy extends to my family.…
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Payback, Press Conferences and Special Needs Parenting
Many days special needs parenting is a challenging proposition. It’s weighing do I go to work out of town for the day and Some of you may know I went to Toronto for a speaking thing yesterday at a press conference. Sometimes I do this when someone calls me to advocate for an issue I care about then I do go out of my way to attend press conferences. That meant my husband took my kids to and from school and took the day off work. I went to the event – not my first rodeo. Press conferences and speaking is a regular thing a couple times a year. But,…
