I like to bitch. This should come as no great shock to you all, my friends and readers. But I don’t just bitch randomly. I bitch with purpose – mostly. Because people do dumb stuff and it makes me mad. And you know what? I got enough of mad to open up a whole shop of Joe Pesci movies. On Ebay or Kijiji. So anyways, I gave mad up for a bit. I did. It’s true. (Oh, don’t act all suprised.) I thought what would happen if I woke up all happy happy and set out to think a positive thought first thing every morning before I got out of bed? There are so many people on the Interweb as Mara calls it, doing positivity. So WTH? I thought I could try a lifestyle change. Yeppers. I tried being all sunny for a little bit. First thing in the a.m. I woke up and said some positive happy thing: Like today will be awesome. I am happy to be alive. Today is full of purpose and possibility. And yes some days were actually. I actually still really like the positivity experiment in theory. But, you see that little pin from Pinterest there. That funny little Amelia Bedelia saying. That’s me most days. And you may or may not know that (Oh for pete’s sake of course you know because I talk about it enough) that I have a child with special needs and I am a kickbutt Ninja Mom, but I am also a sandwich Mom, caring for my Mom and a child with special needs and trying to run a business and loving my work but not really super ecstatic about the chronic need to have to argue with politicians about my daughter’s needs. Then layer on the advocacy that I squish between all my working paid gigs and squeeze a little bit of fun running into school to pick up kid because they don’t know what to do with her quite often. Oh, oh, oh…then add some balancing of books and exercise and well, never mind domestic duties and school taxi. Anyways the point is actually by the end of about week one, maybe day ten at most, I was once again literally so bone dead exhausted waking up in the morning – oh you guys and gals with kids who have special needs get this, I know you do – that really I couldn’t think at all, much less conjure up a positive thought. Have you ever been that tired that you really do not have ability to think in the morning? Much less change your though process. Well, I know my girl @anniecannie has. And I suspect most of the parents in the world of special needs know exactly the level of exhaustion that feels akin to the fifth circle of hell. Anyways, that’s it for now. Positivity is resting on a little shelf in my bedroom. Positive can resurface when the world slows down again in July. Until then I am exhaustipated.