When my baby was this size I would race out of a store holding her ears shut tight if I heard someone drop a swear word at the checkout. Today I swore three times on the drive to the Market where this same baby, now a tween, acts and sings with a local kid’s theatre group. This left me shaking my head and wondering what happened? Am I a bad Mom because I swear now occasionally? When did that become okay for me? What happened to that pristine atmosphere I used to maintain for this new little person? And why am I so tired that I swear lately? I kicked that habit when I became a Mom, didn’t I?
I was horrified that first time I heard a lady swear in front of my baby. I had gone to great lengths to protect my child from the less than perfect words my extended family used sometimes. They all knew the wrath of my evil eye when they dropped the S word or the D word in front of a child. I remember the first time it happened at WalMart and a lady was swearing loudly beside me at the checkout. I built a barrier of my body between her and the horrific vocabulary said WalMart lady was spewing and beetled out of that store with my baby’s virgin ears muffled by my warm hands.
I protected her precious little mind that was such a sponge and surrounded her with only positive vibes and words and affection. Now, my loving friends, my audience of Moms and Dads, some 11 years later I still do most of that, but I just wonder, do we all drop some things as life goes on? Does parenting wear us down so much? Is my filter not working any more? What is wrong with me? Is it just Taxi Mom syndrome? You know that level of agitation that reaches crescendo when taxiing your kids all over town after or during a busy work day?
My kids echo everything. They were such remarkable sponges when they were little that honestly if I stated the word: Prestidigitation they would use it, at two or three years old. They talked a lot, my girls, and still do. Sometimes so often that I just want to yell: QUIET!
One time my daughter was referring to her parents in the course of conversation and I heard her state this: “My dad swore once. He said Hell!” Which isn’t even a real swear word really, is it? Is he just making me look bad on purpose, I thought cursing quietly.
I still have some very hard boundaries I maintain as a parent. No hitting. Ever. No spanking, ever. No smoking. Ever. and truthfully I rarely get out away from my girls. I rarely drink either. No abusive talk. No hateful language. But these things that have changed trouble me and make me feel guilty sometimes.
Is it okay to cut myself some slack? Do you lose your marbles and blurt a swear word ever? Is it just me? What things have you let slip since becoming a Taxi Mom?