The tooth fairy made a visit at our house this week, as those of you who follow thriftymommastips, will know. Anyways naturally as my children are five and eight now there were a few questions that came out of the process, some more comical than others.
Now any moms and dads with any experience fielding life’s great philosophical questions can picture the setting…mommy driving down the busy road (or highway), sunlight in her eyes making dangerous turn when duh duh duh duh…darling child unleashes a good one from the back seat.
Table of Contents
Backseat Questions
This is the tooth fairy conversation I had with my five-year-old the other morning as I drove Payton to summer day camp.
“Mom is the tooth fairy real?”
Right off the bat the biggest question of the whole tooth fairy conversation. This kid is nothing if not direct.
Think Fast
Uh think fast, oh yeah select standard response quickly while driving minivan, “Well, what do you think?”
“I don’t know.”
FYI What do you think is my go to here to give me more time to calibrate and also frankly to get to the root of what they are asking and why. What is the motivation here?
“If you think she’s real then she’s real.”
Show Me The Receipts
“Have you ever seen her?”
“No,” an easy one whew, thinks Mommy.
“How come you’ve never seen her?”
“Because she comes when people are fast asleep.”
“What happens if you don’t go to sleep?”
“She doesn’t visit.” another easy one, she thinks knowing full well there are going to be repercussions for two easy ones in a row.
Is She a Detective?
“How does she know where to look for the teeth?”
“I think she watches you.”
“Like God and Grandma?” Ever since Grandma S. passed away two years ago Payton has convinced her younger sister she watches them from a TV set in the sky.
“Sure, kind of like that.”
So Where is Her Home?
“Where does she live?”
“I don’t know. Where do you think she lives?”
“In a castle.” Of course.
WHY?
“Why does she need teeth?”
Oh Lordy, they’re getting better. Think, Mommy, think. “Ummm. I don’t know. I have no idea really.”
“What does she do with the teeth?” asks my youngest.
“I don’t know. Do you think she keeps them?”
“Yes, I do. I think her whole castle is made of teeth.”
“Hmmm,” says Mom, hoping this line of questioning is almost over.
Creepy Castles and Furniture of Teeth
“Why do you think she needs so many teeth?”
“Maybe she builds furniture out of them and stuff too,” Mommy says. At this point a sporty car usually angrily honks horn and passes Mommy-van in no passing zone.
“How does she know to look under the pillows?”
Oh let it stop the Mommy thinks to herself.“because every child leaves them there.”
Skeptical look boring hole through Mommy’s back. Almost home. Almost home, Mommy thinks to herself.
“Mom?”
“Yes?” Mommy answers hesitatingly.
What about Santa?”
Do As I Say Not As I Do
This is literally me saying learn from my mistakes dear reader and take it one question at a time. Life parenting curious little people is full of these hot topic moments. Take a breath and know there’s always another chance to redo if this one didn’t turn out exactly as you had hoped.
