Happy Birthday to my husband, the wonderful father of our two kids. Because he just phoned and left his wallet at home and his gas tank is so low he’ll be pushing the car home on his rainy birthday. Because I will now drive the wallet out to you at work. Because you are the world’s biggest procrastinator, but I love you anyways. Because I recall our fourth or fifth date when the Trans-Am – yes, that’s right – Trans Am actually did run out of gas and foolish me I didn’t run for the hills at that point. Because you snore like a lawnmower. Because you made me laugh when you fell into the flowerbed doing a goofy dance on your 40th birthday. Because you pretended to be surprised when your friends showed up later that night to help celebrate. Because you put up with my mother’s really long “vacations” at our house. Because you are my sweetheart even when I am muttering otherwise under my breath. Because you can’t balance a bankbook. Because you usually let me pick. Because you changed the channel from Hockey Night in Canada to America’s Next Top Model when I gave you the hairy eyeball. Happy Birthday to you!