Spectacular Email Fails – Seven Reasons I Ignored You Today

Spectacular Email Fails are my new specialty. Why? Because so many people send them to me. There are many reasons people and businesses fail at this basic task, and one of them right now is automation. Automation can be great when things work and you actually invest in a product that does this well. But sadly, I have not seen a single automated email or outreach product this year that has worked properly.

SO STOP buying. Email marketing and blogger outreach is actually social. It is also a skill. My Blog and Social Media Consulting business relies on authentic social interaction, so I get super annoyed when I see people trusting a tool to shoot out preFAB outreach emails that FAIL on a spectacular level. So I felt like sharing a few of the reasons this approach is really not working for a lot of businesses. Here’s what’s happening on this end as the recipient of your automated email outreach service.


Email Fails Add Up to Wasted MONEY

Checking email shouldn’t feel like a battle and I should never feel harassed. And yet this year it does feel as if I am being harassed at least once almost every day. Lately I have noticed three disturbing trends in email outreach.

Trends that Fail:

  • Belligerence is a huge trend. Didn’t get the response you wanted? So you emailed again and again and again. Guess what? That’s belligerent, aggressive and obnoxious. Belligerence is not a successful or positive marketing or outreach tactic.
  • Repeat e-mails with gigantic errors in them. Errors in who you are addressing followed by giant spelling and grammar errors too. What’s worse than that?
  • Automated pitches that then repeat both one and two on this list as many as 3-4 times.

Do not waste your time on services that can’t even get spelling right, or products that get someone’s name wrong.

So I wanted to put this right out there immediately for all to see.



Inaccurate Name.

You addressed the email to someone who actually is not me. Danielle, Lisa, Sheri….NOT MY NAME. Ba Bye.

Cited the wrong web site or blog.

Mom Spot is not my blog. Mom Life, MOM deals, MOM ____ insert any word here. NOT my blog or web site.

Your email is Nonsense.

Haven’t even got the words for this one. Here’s an example: you emailed me and reached out claiming to have read my post about a feminine health issue and you think it ties in with your product that is a subscription meat delivery product. So we should work together, but only if I want to refer to your meat delivery service in the feminine health product post? What are you thinking? That makes no sense. On what planet are the two topics ever mentioned together? SEO doesn’t work that way.

No means NO.

This is HUGE for me right now. When I say NO I mean NO. In business, in my personal life and via email. Also here’s your notice: I will block you. I will ban you. I will report you or take whatever action I need to remove you from my in box. Just because I have an email address and a blog doesn’t ever give you the right to harass me. Make no mistake emailing me 3, 4, even 6 times with the same offer every single time and escalating language: “Hi, why have you not responded to my email yet?” makes me feel harassed and I can assure you that is not the way to work with someone or to curry favour.

I owe you Nothing.

Just because I have posted an email address to contact me doesn’t mean I actually owe you a response at all. My email. My business. I do not owe you a response. Ten times out of ten I will respond to emails that are polite and addressed to the right person. That is good email etiquette, but I do not owe you a response or reply. You are not entitled to anything from me.

You are Trying to Game Google.

You just asked for something that is against Google’s Terms of Service. You emailed asking me for a do follow link in a post in exchange for money. That is not the way to win at SEO or content marketing. It is also against Google’s Terms of Service so PASS. This is a big one of the email fails I see daily.

You used this phrase – Mutually Beneficial.

This phrase is often used as code for we won’t pay you but want to patronize and use your service in a manner that is exploitative and not beneficial to you as a business. The email fails I see here sometimes do this too – the thing where they assume it is mutually beneficial for me to post something for you in exchange for you sharing the post. NO. You asked me to work and leverage my on line platforms and voice and you will share it with your audience. AKIN to saying – Hey come to work until Noon today. No Pay, but I will actually tell all my friends you are a good person. Doesn’t pay the mortgage or buy groceries so no can do.

Bad Behaviour, Belligerence and Email Fails

These kinds of spectacular email fails have become almost like the belligerent telemarketers of old. You know the ones who argued with you when you said Not interested or Not Today.¬†Email is a necessity of life in a digital world. You can’t possibly do business without ever touching email. Respect and a personal touch matter. Always.


Mom of two beautiful active girls, traveller, fitness junkie, social media consultant, and keeper of the sanity.