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Holidays are never so difficult as when you are missing something, or someone. This year will be our first year without my Mom at Thanksgiving. These were the photos we took last year when we were all together. Whole. Hindsight is 20/20 and I now know this was probably our happiest holiday ever. We were happy, chasing children up and down the halls of a retirement home where we all met for dinner. The kids were magnificently loud and messy and full of life.
Work was good, life was good, rarely perfect, but also full. Mom was happy, loved, in love. Our kids had a grandma, and she had them.
This year I am thankful she had grandkids.
I am thankful we had as many years as we did together.
Thankful for her constant presence when I was a child.
I am thankful we adopted when we did.
Thankful too that we got to be the ones who made her a grandma the first time.
She was great at that.
I am sad that we didn’t have more time.
Everyone should have the chance to love, be loved, fill their hearts each time they feel a child’s tiny hand reaching for theirs.
Everyone should have the chance to be great at being a grandma or a grandpa.
Every child in care should have a home and every couple struggling through infertility should be able to grow their family whether by adoption or the requisite fertility treatment that is being prescribed by medical expert. They should also be supported. Adoptive families need supports in place for their children, many of whom have special needs. Infertile couples need funding for In vitro fertilization so they too can build healthy families without breaking financially and emotionally.
When we support families no matter how they are formed everyone wins. Parents get more time being parents, Children in need of homes get more time growing into their new families. Grandparents get more time simply enjoying being grandparents.
Are you missing pieces of your family this Thanksgiving? Are you still trying to become a family?
Happy Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year? What are you missing?