How to Handle FASD and Running

From the moment my youngest child started moving, they were a runner. The kid ran everywhere. in fact, we used to joke that this child ran before they walked, which was pretty accurate and slightly comical, until they started running away. For them, FASD, Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, and running went hand in hand.

What is Elopement?

Elopement is basically when kids with some neurological conditions leave or run away from wherever they currently are. That can be school, home, the mall, the park or any other spot. For some reason their fight or flight reaction is activated and flight kicks in and they run away. That’s basically synonymous with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). Fasd and runners or FASD and running are a common combination. The flight sense is heightened and any perceived threat could activate it. Now, couple that with a complete lack of impulse control and it made for lot of terrifying moments as a parent.

FYI, you will also find this same behaviour sometimes in seniors with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

My youngest went through this stage for years in elementary school.

Our FASD and Running Experience

Once they left school entirely for a couple of hours. I had been out with my Mom helping her buy a few things at the local Sears Outlet store. My mom had Alzheimer’s disease in the last few years of her life and that meant she needed some support in the community as well. Luckily I was available to help her. Not so luckily that day though, I had to race my Mom back to her retirement home while I sped over to the school to ask school administration why they had not had a closer eye on my child.

Running away is not an uncommon scenario for kids with neurological differences. Thankfully, this has actually stopped. To this day I’m not sure why or how it stopped. But it did.

This behaviour started when my youngest child was little actually and then it stopped for years because they were always supervised act school and at home. Medication for ADHD and impulse control helped too. Then this began again around 12 years old. It lasted until about 15.

Does it Ever Stop?

Now my youth with FASD is a young adult.

Around 15 years old the running away stopped. Why?

Well,I think three things worked here for us: anger therapy. I finally found a therapist who talked to them weekly and we started with a youth group for kids with FASD ( huge impact for my teen with FASD). Recently my kiddo said knowing that a friend, who I will call Tammy (not her real name) also gets it and understands FASD is everything. “We are best friends. Nobody else gets it.”

Our Old Routine

Before that though, we followed them every time. It was dead exhausting. Once I called police and they were amazing here. They sent two female police officers who calmed everyone down and I think it actually shocked the heck out of my kiddo. They were kind and said to my 15 year old at that time “you simply can’t do this. It’s not safe for anyone.”

I don’t think the words mattered so much as the shock that I’d called the police. Anyways, I’m so sorry. If you have a runner, that experience is hellish.

If you are in this situation then I hope that you find help soon. Here’s what we did to help cope with the FASD and running.

The Elopement Plan

1. Let people around your child, young adult or adult know that she or he is a flight risk so they can keep them safe.
2. If your child is a runner, consider finding some parent near the school or daycare and letting them know.
3. Agree on a space or a safe location. I knew my child would run when overwhelmed. It was just what they did, so I did discuss this with my whole family and with my friend and suggested that at least it should be a safe spot to run to. So, we agreed that if he kiddo ever ran off they would only run to this friend’s house. Harm reduction basically. It worked.
4. Have a plan in place. I was amazed once by a mom of an autistic child who stated to me we have a plan. I tell the nearest adult to block all exits and lock the doors and then we search for him. She had it down cold. You go call 911. You go lock that door now. By directing all of the adults around her, she was able to protect and find her son again. It was impressive.

FASD and Runners go hand in hand often due to the lack of impulse control and also the anger, the inability to regulate emotions and control situations. Knowing what to do before it happens goes a long way towards managing the situation. Good Luck and reach out if you have any questions.